Eternal?

Went to a funeral today...probably the most thorough process I ever had in my whole life....with the dead being someone I don't even know anything a about....quite ironic, right. I was watching the whole thing, and thought death is probably the best thing that God has given us creatures that live on this planet.

Once you are dead...you worry no more, suffer no more, being sick no more, being annoyed no more....and basically you are just out of the crappy world all together. Problems are only left for those who are still alive, and the dead can enjoy something eternal.

Right...there is eternal suffering too....well...at least it's something eternal.....better than working on whole bunch of stuff in this world at the end turns out to be of no importance at all. You either have eternal peace and rest or eternal suffering when you die....but at least you are dead so you know the answer and there is no more struggling...you just accept what you have at that point....pretty good deal I think....

No more wisdom left.....

I officially have no wisdom left!!!!! Yes....you read it right....not only that my brain has no wisdom left, I have pulled out my last wisdom tooth this morning as well. I still remember how I extracted two wisdom teeth out when I started working at COG cuz they were hurting like crazy with deep cavities. I had to pay out of my own pocket for those cuz there was no insurance from the company at the time. Ho-Ching was still in LA and recommended me to this dentist who was super good at pulling out wisdom teeth. (He also happened to love telling me about his marriage stories....maybe I just have this special gift to make dentists talk to me????)

I didn't pull out the bottom wisdom teeth back then cuz I didn't feel like wasting all those money on two teeth... and also because I hate dental visits. If it weren't for my crazy tooth ache right before the wedding, I would probably never go to dentist until my whole mouth of teeth rottens naturally. I guess God has a weird way of making us do things which we really don't want to do. I have been going to the dentist almost every week or every other week since May or June, and finally have all extractions done now. There are always more stuff to do of course, but at least the worst the over.

I know this is kinda disgusting....but just want to share my precious memory of the last wisdom tooth with you....hahahaha....The dentist had a difficult time pulling this one out. I can't really blame him but I sure hated the process. I am sure the wound will still hurt for a while....sighs...My stupid camera cannot take a super close up for it either....(which makes me want to get another camera...sighs)...The tooth is rotten on the top as well....like all my wisdom teeth.....:p

For those of you know how my bridal gown and evening dresses were stuck in the dry cleaner because of the fire accident.....I finally got them back!!!!! Well....they didn't exactly put my gown in a box for preservation yet, (because the shop is being remodeled and all...) but that shall be done by next week. We have been wondering if the shop just closed down for the past two months and finally went to check on the updates. I decided to stop by after prayer meeting last night and found this phone number posted on the door.....tried calling the number and didn't even leave a message cuz there was not specific message saying it's the dry cleaner...However later at night I miraculously got a reply by the shop owner.

So....the shop was banned from opening by the city, and was forced to go through remodeling for safety reasons. They lost business for the past 2 months even though nothing was malfunctioned from the fire few stores down. The insurance will only cover their remodeling cost but not the business loss. That kinda sucks for them.....but at least I got all my stuff back including Billy's jacket which will be just on time for the funeral use coming Sat. Weird timing I guess....cuz they just moved everything out today for remodeling....and if I check today I would of think the shop is indeed closed for good since nothing is left in the shop.

How did the topic jump from tooth extraction to dry cleaner? I have no idea....I have no wisdom left remember?

Communication....

Hades has been talking to the same pigeon (which tries to stand on the edge of our balcony) for days now. This pigeon must be new to the neighborhood cuz it apparently does not know what the feeling is being chased by a cat (and the possibility of losing few feathers if the cat happens to grab it). What amuses me is how Hades tries so hard to threaten the bird while the bird hears nothing through the glass door in between them.

Communications between people are often like what is between Hades and the pigeon. You can try so hard to get things across to the other person, and he/she just does not get it ever... or for the worse, does not even hear it.... I guess not everyone is designed to understand each other, or else this would be a peaceful place.

Hades does not seem to be discouraged even though the pigeon hears nothing he says. For some reason he stays very entertained by the pigeon and cannot move his eyes away. Sometimes we are also like that. We try so hard to say something or do stuff to change others or a certain situation, forgetting we are all so different and things many times may never be received right. We don't really learn from our experiences either cuz we just keep on trying and bumping into walls.....at the end we tire ourselves out.....

Man....sure did a lot of expanding of thoughts through this simple Hades-Pigeon episode....

Is Marriage really the cure for loneliness?

A friend of mine was telling me how her psycho ex husband applied credit cards in her name and got her into a lot of debt and trouble. Her marriage caused her a lot of troubles and pain ever since I knew her years ago, and now even when they are divorced she is still paying her prices....

Mom was telling me how the families with marriage problems always cause a lot of troubles in church...for some reason people just don't learn even when they fail in relationships and marriages....and then of course everyone who are involved suffer...including the kids and whoever trying to help out.

Billy told me God put people together so we learn how to love. The questions is....what is you are loving the wrong person and you were never supposed to love them to start with? I know there is no perfect people in this world...but then people still need to be careful with what they choose right? Don't we have to pay the prices if we made the wrong choice at the very beginning? and the sad thing is that we humans just tend to make wrong choices in life for whatever reasons...

Sometimes I wonder if marriage is really some kinda trap. It looks good for those who are not in it because they feel lonely. I personally just don't feel marriage is a cure for loneliness or anything that you really hope for it to work for...It is hard work if it's meant for a life time. Anything that is for a life time takes a lot of effort to make it right....

Cold-Hot syndrome.....

Didn't write anything over the weekend cuz there was not much to write about. I thought I would just write today to summarize the weekend. It was raining on Sat, but when we tried to drive our cars out for free car wash the rain stopped...(some kinda luck we had :p)....so we ended up washing our tsx on Sun cuz the limited rain on Sat actually got the car more dirty.

Rumor has it there will soon be a big earthquake in CA. (Yeah....the rumor has been going on for the past years)......Billy wanted to get prepared a little for the earthquake so we bought some stuff to put in two backpacks, which we can use if the earthquake ever happens while we drive I certainly hope we won't ever have to use those backpacks....(just don't like any kinda natural disasters personally)....

We also had an interesting dinner on Sat. We got a roasted chicken meal from Ralph's which has a lot of stuff included. Hades had a feast too eating the chicken breast which has less grease in it. This cat has totally been spoiled recently that he is becoming harder to please each day....

Our refrigerator also looks kinda scary right now cuz we went shopping for food and probably got too much food.... Billy got this big watermelon and 2/3 of it is still laying there after he did his watermelon juice.... (cuz I usually don't eat watermelon). The whole refrigerator looks purple now with the containers and caps mom got me from TW....quite a sight....

Called home last night and listened to a lot of crap that happened in dad's church. Kids nowadays are just impossible to deal with...(and all of that comes from failing marriages & relationships....) It really gets frustrating to think about how people have kids and don't provide them with a healthy environment. That is perhaps why this society gets more messed up each generation....

I don't know if the whole conversation on the phone caused my headache or I was getting sick somehow. I was feeling cold with a migraine after I hung up the phone. Took a Tylenol and felt better after Billy got food for dinner...but the coldness came back to me middle of the night while I was sleeping. I woke up and took another Tylenol but then felt really hot after Tylenol started working. I hope this cold-hot syndrome will not stay too long....sighs....

The Internet World....

Woke up early this morning cuz I was worried of not having water to use if I woke up too late. The manager told us we won't have water until 2 in the afternoon cuz they are fixing some stuff. Friend from Indonesia started chatting with me cuz I woke up earlier than usual, and told me that she broke up with her BF. I guess relationships don't always happen in ways we want them to be.....

I was checking my facebook this morning while I was chatting with her, and suddenly realized how amazing it is that people are able to stay connected through various networks on the internet. A lot of times you have people adding you on to their accounts just because they saw your name from a common friend you both have. Most of my 2nd cousins in the states have facebook and we are somehow connected through it. I guess it's good in a way cuz in real life I don't spend much time hanging out with them....

Occasionally I wonder why we need to know what is going on with others' lives (when in real life we haven't seen each other for years and live on diff. sides of the planet). I wonder what people would do to stay in touch if there is no such a thing called internet. It's kinda scary to notice how we can get to know too much info....(even with people who you have no interest of knowing more about).....just because everything gets through the internet one way or the other.....

I wonder if someday computers would get smart enough to block off info or data that we don't want to know or see? maybe the time will come sooner than expected since computers can already recognize our voices now? maybe us humans will someday become dumber than what we already are cuz computers do everything for us and it's all too convenient? Right....I am getting way too side tracked again....How did this all start from not having water for the day? :p

On being sarcastic....

談戀愛的對象，最好比你笨——

因為在越笨的人身上，

你越能看出愛情改變人的魔力有多偉大，

這會增加你對愛情的信仰。

嗯.....可是啊......

談戀愛的對象，最好比你聰明——

有的戀愛是悲劇、有的戀愛是喜劇，

但不論悲喜，總應當盡量避免變成愚蠢的爛戲。

而戲的水準，實在是決定於和你同台演出者的水準啊。

This is quoted from 蔡康永's blog. For some reason I always think his writing is interesting to read....I think it's the tone he uses and the way he thinks...to some extend unique enough to entertain me. His writing varies in length and consists with this sarcastic way of presenting things. Sometimes you can't even be sure if he is really being sarcastic or just trying to state his own opinions in a subtle way. Just like this last paragraph.....

I think "killing a person with out any trace of blood" (the Chinese expression 殺人不見血) would be a good description of his talking and writing skills. Occasionally I wonder if it defeats the purpose when the person who you are trying to irritate doesn't really get what you are saying. It may very well make the person on the attacking side feel like an idiot at the end. However, for those who like to watch others' reactions....they may still get a kick out of it when nobody gets it cuz the result may not be what they aim for.....

There is always one place meant for you?

I had lunch with Annie and her old time classmate Louie today. Annie is heading back to TW tomorrow, with her new relationship and new life all together. I was looking at her classmate and listened to how they talked, I suddenly realized TW is probably the place for Annie cuz she likes things from there...even people from there....at least for now....

A friend was chatting with me on MSN this morning from Indonesia. She was telling me how she doesn't have peace with her relationship now. I guess it's because the guy wants her to move to Australia and she feels like staying in Asia. I always thought she would not mind moving to a more western country. I mean...even Singapore is not completely Asian in a sense....but then I guess Indonesia may be the place for her.....at least for now...

I was reading Joelle's blog and she was all talking about watching TW's news from China. It's funny to see her reactions. I wonder where would be the place for her to stay at the end. Maybe she will just be living at various places wherever her work takes her to? Hard to imagine her place is China....at least for now.....

Daniel is going back to SG cuz his 6 months course is ending next week. I guess he had a nice long break from SG for the past 6 months, but I am also sure that he misses his family in SG. It just seems right for him to return to his sweet home after a break cuz it's the place meant for him....at least for now. Jacob is also thinking about going back to TW for good.....but he wants to stay in US if he can.... Where is the place meant for him?

I thought I was about to find a place for myself back in Asia few years back. 1st I was stopped by the job offer from PC at HI, and then three years later by a relationship out of the blue. I have been stuck in the states for more than three years now.....is this really a place meant for me then? at least for now?......

Jazz and the potato

So what do Jazz and Potato have in common? I guess they can fill you up when you are hungry...when you are hungry for good music, and when you are just physically hungry... Doesn't make all that much sense I know....just trying to make some sense of having the name "Baked Potato" for the best Jazz club in town at LA.....very cold....I know...

Daniel our dear guitar friend is heading back to SG end of Sep. It's kinda depressing cuz we won't get to hear so many cold jokes form the cold joke king any more, and I think the gang will get to hang out less and less after he leaves. Jacob is probably gonna move back to TW end of this year too, and that is one less friend I will have from the good old times. More and more musicians that I worked with (who are actually good musicians in the pro world) become harder and harder to hang out or even stay in touch with. The world just sucks when one grows older and when everyone needs to tend their own businesses.

We have been hanging out consecutively for the past three weekends straight with Daniel. I think he just wants to spend as much time with us and catch as many concerts as he can before he gets back to his depressing environment, being a professional musician in SG. (That just sounds kinda wrong since many people desperately want to make it in the "pro world" and cannot....) Jazz ministry was performing at the baked potato when we went on Sat, and this is like the third time or 4th time I went to their shows....still inspiring and refreshing after all these times.....

I don't think there is much to say that would make sense to most people really....Sometimes I don't even know if people think us musicians are freaks getting excited over whole bunch of chords and beats that nobody can catche in their ears. Oh well...just like how we don't understand most of other professions which involves more brains than us musicians have....Anyway....just gonna post some photos so the memory remains at least....

Here are few photos I took with my nice super light sensitive camera....turned one of them into black and white for the feel of it...The performers just kept on moving so they are a bit blurry...
Here is a pic from Daniel's camera....very grainy and dark....but artistic....I turned it into antic color just cuz it looks good....

Well......ever wonder why people have duplicate and redundant photos? Cuz they have a boring life that is why....so may as well waste the time changing the colors of photos....:p

Endings

Last night I was finishing up the book that I read for the past 1-2 weeks. I knew I could of just finish it cuz Billy was already sleeping for a while and I only had few pages left around 1:30 in the morning. I don't really understand the reason, but I purposely didn't finish the book and waited till this afternoon to wrap it up while I was taking my hot bath.

The ending was kinda disappointing cuz I guessed it out half way through the book. I have always had that problem whenever I read a book or watch a movie....rarely can any ending surprise me really. What bothers me more is how I would never turn to the end and find out if the ending is what I think it is. (even when I can tell I am gonna be disappointed again half way through the book...) Instead I would read very carefully, hoping the ending would be diff. than what I expect, and then shake my head at the end. Somehow I just think I should respect the writer by finishing the work since he spent so much energy writing it.

Excellent endings are very hard to achieve for composers, writers, or anyone who needs an ending for their creative works. At times for one thing to end without anything definite is really the best treatment. (but that often annoys me greatly....) I am the kinda person who hates things without closure, and yet I am not sure if I really want to know the ending. (contradictory, I know...) Maybe I am more afraid of knowing the endings too soon than the ending itself.

Jacob always tells me that for people like us, (people who can tell what the results of things are before they occur..... I have no idea why he used the word "us"....hahaha) life gets miserable at times. We tend to see to much (or foresee in this sense), pay too much attention to the environment and details, think too much, and worry too much....all in vain really....

What is ironic is that at the end we care less about things and don't believe in miracles any more cuz most of the time things go as we predicted. (at least I tend to care less cuz I don't think there is much possibilities of things turning around completely...don't know if that is the case for Jacob....He just struggles all the time and hope things to go his way.... I, on the other hand, just give up....what is the point struggling anyway?)

Ok....don't know why I went on and talked about all those deep thoughts. What I am trying to point out is.....I finished a book....and the ending left me feeling a little depressed....:p

Time is all messed up....

Time is all messed up today. 1st I went to teach half hour early and scared both my student and her mom. I have no idea why I would remember the time wrong but apparently I don't remember a lot of things nowadays. It must be the age or lack of brain space left in my head.

I spent the extra 30 min wandering around and deposited some checks, and then took the wrong route to the 2nd teaching appt after I finished the 1st one. I was late for the 2nd lesson which never happen (I am usually early if not right on time...) so my 2nd student was all wondering if I was going. I guess my brain was just not fully functioning for some reason.

It's close to 9 pm now and Billy is still not home. He has stuff that he needs to finish and he wants to try and see if he can avoid going to work tomorrow (Sat). Hades is sleeping on the floor cuz not much is going on at home. I guess the time is just messed up today and Hades will probably not be able to sleep through the night since he is sleeping so much now. Just a weird day...

Here is to the girls...

We just finished discussing how guys should be to obtain a successful relationship (with Billy's added comments...I wonder why he is adding to the "how guys should act" part...? ), and here is to the girls as promised yesterday, from the book Dateable.

Instead of telling girls what they should do, the author pointed out what girls should "NOT" do. (I thought that was kinda entertaining cuz guys, including the author, often think they should be the side taking initiatives + chasing their target while a lot of guys are actually quite passive nowadays....very ironic isn't it?) Listed here are things girls should watch out for before they ruin the relationship which they dream for.

Girls should NOT:

1. Chase after guys....If you start to call guys you like, buy things for them, be their free labor, etc....then you can be sure this is gonna end in a way you don't like. Guys may still go out with the girls chasing after them, cuz it's convenient enough and satisfies their ego. However, it's against guys' nature to be chased rather than being the side chasing after a target.

2. Plan everything....If you want to know how much a guy cares about you, then just watch how they plan for your dates (or just about everything else). Guys are willing to spend the time and energy planning for things if they think you are worth it.

3. Pay for everything....Guys are willing to spend money on girls they like enough. Girls should not try to spend all the money the guy has, but certainly should be very careful if you are paying for most of the stuff. Girls just need to learn how to let the men be men.

4. Repay guys with anything physical....If it's that easy to get you physically, then guys would probably shift their attention to someone else who is harder to get. Love is not all physical !!!!! Yeah it sounds kinda stupid and everyone should know it....but people don't....Guys like challenges for some reason...so don't turn yourself into "no challenge"...

So if you are waiting for a guy to ask you out and he never does, then you have to accept some facts. 1. This guy has no guts and does not want to take the risk nor responsibility asking you 1st. He will probably not be able to protect you nor be considerate for you when you guys go through difficult times, cuz he chooses the simple way out on things. 2. He is probably just NOT interested in you. Very hard for imaginary and dreamy girls to accept....but most of the time true.

Well....everything is easier said then done huh? I know...if we all have self control then relationships should go more smooth. If we all have good relationships, then this world would probably be a better place...There are always ideal situations, and there is reality...hahaha.....so I wrote everything in these two day's blogs just because I am bored? yeah...you bet....:p

People forget things easily

I was writing on my students' notebooks and noticed it was 911 yesterday. I was quite surprised that I didn't see any news relating to the disaster either on the internet nor on the news.....maybe I just didn't pay enough attention....or maybe people just forget things easily. I am not sure how many people would remember things from 10 or 20 years ago. It's amazing how many years ago 911 happened too. I still remember our 1st east coast tour with er ge was right after the incident. Getting old man....

I was reading this book called "Dateable" which Annie tried to read but apparently was never able to finish. Most of the stuff talked about in the book is kinda useless to me now, and I actually knew 80% of everything.....However I thought one section is interesting enough to share here. The chapter discusses how male and female should be if they really want to get the relationships they desire.

Most girls would say that they like "bad boys"...and do you know why? Well....it's because the "good guys" are too quiet, too shy, too boring, and too feminine. Interesting enough huh? basically the book is saying most "Christian guys" are not really guy-like and they don't know how to be leaders, thus making it hard to like for girls. The author says all guys should go back to read Bible and notice the good guys in the Bible are adventurous, persistent, passionate, courageous, exciting, take initiatives, etc.

So what the writer suggests the guys to do is to be 1. Passionate in life. (Be passionate in everything you do and be able to take lead and make decisions in life) 2. Confident. (One has to feel confident in himself and then confidence would come after he is used to being confident of himself. Make up your minds on things you want to do and be responsible to the decisions also helps on building up confidence.) 3. Powerful with strength. (Strength comes from God so there is nothing to be afraid of. ) 4. Courageous. 5. Adventurous. (Enjoy life to the fullest and be touched with all things in life. )


If the "good guys" can accomplish all of those above, then maybe girls don't need to go after the bad guys any more. Well....right....if the good guys can.... Alright, I will post the "girls must do" part next.....but now lunch is more imp.

Have been reading...

I have been reading here and there ever since Annie brought me some books back from TW. I guess reading can get a bit addictive at times. I was reading around midnight since Billy was deep asleep, and before I noticed it was passed 1 AM already. The novel I am reading right now is called "Souls Embracing" written by a doctor from Taipei....

The book starts off describing a writer who hasn't done any bestseller in a while. He meets a reporter for her broadcasting show on the radio and befriends with her. The reporter has a stalker co-worker who works in the camera crew. The camera guy hates the writer and tries to catch dirt on the writer cuz he thought the reporter is going out with the writer. The writer has a crazy fan who publishes her writing through the internet using the writer's name. Through some sort of messed up situation with politicians quoting the article, the writer started to become famous all over again (with an article that he never wrote included in his new book).

So you see the basic layout of the story is complicated enough, but this is really just the surface. Deep down I believe the author wants us to see how the media can manipulate and distort the truth to an unbelievable extend. The book also deals with human nature quite a bit. It shows us how one would sacrifice his standard in work and honesty to achieve what is seemingly necessary in our society, "fame", that we all long for....Also, I guess there are just too many sick people around in this world now we can never be sure how things would go in life. I bet the writer never thought he would be threatened by his biggest fan at the end, and the reporter would never expect a co-worker to stalk her and drive her crazy...

Nevertheless this is just a novel that I am reading, even though it gets entertaining to see how things described in the book really happen in reality. I guess novels serves a purpose for us to experience things through the stories without living them ourselves. To some extend it takes imagination to get what the writer is trying to say and really see the whole picture. It's just like watching a movie without having the pictures right in front of your eyes. It takes a lot more imagination to build your own movie by reading the words instead of having them presented for you visually. Who knows? maybe I am more imaginative than I think since I like reading stuff.....

Prices to pay

There are prices to pay in life. Nothing would just go perfect as we all wish they would. Everyone wishes problems would be solved if we just think they will be. It's hard to recognize and admit it when things just would NOT go our way. Why am I saying all this? well....because I am kinda fed up with people thinking how everything would be alright if we just hide under the blanket so we don't see anything. (Sometimes it's hard to understand why people don't see the differences between wishful thinking and reality....but apparently people don't.)

It gets entertaining to watch people, especially in relationships....It's like all of the sudden brains stop to function and nothing makes senses any more. (Nothing seems to make sense for outsiders at least.... People who are in it usually think everything makes sense 100 %) I wonder if that is why marriages go bad at the end, cuz people just can't think straight when they decide to get married. People who can go on with their marriages for years are either just very lucky, or very blessed by God. (or they work their butts off to save it....)

I honestly think I am getting tired of hearing about relationships. Most of the time you see the problems right away but people tend to think they have ways out of holes they dig. They ask for your opinions but then you know they will continue with their stupid ways of doing things. I really don't get too upset about the "being stupid" part cuz I have been trained to get used to it through many cases....what really bugs me is how they want me to give opinions which they would never listen to anyway...why the heck do they ask really?

Like what I told Billy....I am washing my hands clean from things. I am not gonna even be nice and suggest anyone to "think" carefully on stuff (since nobody can think when they are in it so I have heard...) I am just gonna sit and chill... and stop feeling dumb suggesting anything. There are prices to pay in life whenever you want to get something or whenever a decision is made. I think we should all take care of our own bills 1st before we get too eager to pay for others. Life shouldn't be all about getting into other people's troubles....(and I do think I need some nocturnal peace so I need to get less issues troubling my mind...not sure if I have the nocturnal faith yet....so I will work on the peace 1st)

The person who has the nocturnal faith in this house is sleeping early today cuz I think he is feeling sick. It's a funny feeling to be sitting here alone writing my blog late at night. I can't remember when was the last time this living room gets so quiet at night. Hades is right besides me and I am writing....feels like years ago it's almost amusing. I am blahing about useless stuff I almost feel uplifted somehow. yeah....weird I know...

What is new?

Dental appt once again this morning....(to get the real crown settled on the bottom tooth which had a huge cavity). The assistant wanted to do the procedure for me but then I wanted to ask the doc why it's still sensitive... so the doc ended up doing the whole thing for me. I hope this tooth will start to feel better so no RCT needs to be done later...or I will really hate it....

This time the dentist started talking to me about his electric violin and asked me if putting a pick up on his classical violin would be good....so I gave him some tips on using this condense mic which I play with all the time. He seemed to be very inspired from all the "mic talk" that he waived some outstanding charge out of the last wisdom tooth extraction.

What happened was that the insurance company didn't cover as much as he thought on the extraction....(cuz it was a surgical procedure instead of regular extraction)...so the front desk asked me to pay for the extra... but then after I kinda "inquired" about this to Dr. Wu and he told the front desk to just credit that money for next time...(which will be another extraction of wisdom tooth....sighs....)

The stupid assistant tried to carry a conversation with me this time. Apparently I am known as "the musician" in this office now so he asked me how my music career is going. Even though I hate it when he has to do anything on my teeth I still politely answered "I only teach a little nowadays". He was trying to take an X-ray for the wisdom tooth that will get extracted next time, and failed THREE times!!!!!! I feel that I can just sue him for the extra radiation that I had to absorb because of his lame skills.

So...I guess nothing was new about my dental visit. It was uncomfortable, the dentist talks too much about music with me, the assistant is clumsy and makes me suffer even more, I lost quality sleep last night.....I really hope situation would of improved over the past numerous visits but it didn't....I guess I am never gonna get used to dental visits...sighs...

Pavarotti...

Pavarotti died at the age of 71.....and I am starting to get a little depressed about this. I was thinking about going to his concert last year, and I never knew he had cancer. I guess a lot of times we all think there is still other chances in life... but sometimes the chance would never come again. This is getting a little bit sentimental I know....but Pavarotti's voice kinda accompanied me through childhood.

I still remember dad had recordings of Pavarotti, and he liked to listen to those Italian folk songs and popular songs sang by Pavarotti. I bought few CDs for dad when I was in high school too.....(the ones that Pavarotti recorded with his friends who sing in diff. music categories). I remember how the "three tenors" were such a big thing when they were performing for the world cup soccer games. I wonder who is gonna be the next one to die with the other two left. I certainly didn't expect Pavarotti to be the 1st one though....

Man....life.....short for sure....

Black Fish's Son?

Mom was nagging to me about cooking that "Black Fish's Son" ever since grandma gave them to me from TW. I totally ignored it cuz I never cooked those before and was just too lazy to figure out. I was even more lazy to go out and buy food today... so I thought I would just open that box of "Black Fish's Son" and see if they look pleasant to me so I will cook them. So....I took them out, defrosted them, and just cooked them.

It was kinda weird cuz the whole cooking process probably only took 5 min after they were defrosted. I don't really get why those "Black Fish's sons" are so expensive cuz I think they taste just about the same no matter how you cook them. Easting that many tiny little eggs is probably not too healthy either.....but Chinese people seem to love it. Chinese people like all sorts of weird things...

Anyway....my assignment of cooking it is done and over with. I would call it a success since it's eatable. This way mom won't nag at me about it any more. :p

P.S. The knife at home was not working too well and my cutting skill is lame as well....don't look at the ugly shapes...thanks....:p

Weirdo confirmed....

I have been watching this Korean soap during lunch time for the past few weeks. It's funny that I still don't like the main character guy. I have noticed (through various TV shows and movies) that I often like the secondary characters more. I wonder what is the reason behind this phenomenon.... Is it because I always like weirdos? or that I sympathize those who don't get enough attentions? or that I am a weirdo myself so I tend to have diff. taste compared to the norm?

Annie brought back whole bunch of books from TW for me. I didn't even know the books are so thick cuz I just looked over them on line and asked her to order for me. I am glad she didn't have too much to carry back or else I would feel bad about all the weight added on her luggage. I was reading Mr. Tsai's blog again last night, and found out he read one of the books I bought too. I guess weird people do have the same taste. I should probably pass along some books to another Mr. Tsai after I finish reading them since he is in our weirdo club too....

I was rubbing my right eye last night cuz it was itching badly. Hades started rubbing his right eye this morning and got it all watery. I wonder if Hades really reflects stuff I feel or maybe I am just making too much out of it. He must be a weird cat to some extend, and that is why I like him so much? I guess I like stuff which consistently needs attention? I don't know when did I start to be like this. It feels like I don't know how to spend time with myself alone now if I am doing nothing.

I thought I am turning into a more severe weirdo as time passes, but that is not the truth... I was reading journals I wrote dating back from 2005 last night, and I was as weird back then....(just a little more innocent that is all). I should find stuff I wrote even more years back and see how I feel about it. Most likely it would just be another confirmation that I am "once a weirdo, always a weirdo...." :p

Life wasted waiting for people

Did you know that life is wasted waiting for people? especially when they don't even know that you are wasting your life waiting for them? I just wonder why people would not set a time so everyone knows how much time they have to use...at least this way people can waste less of their lives waiting for things to finally happen. I wonder if it's my fate to always be the one waiting.....(not only I have friends who are never on time, I had to work with boss who never care about other people's time...and now I am living in a no- time- frame-cuz-anything-can-happen zone cuz we don't really seem to have plans settled for anything in life.)

I don't personally believe God wants me to learn the lesson to be less organized cuz I consider being organized and knowing what one wants to do a good thing. Maybe instead of waiting for people I should start making them wait for me so they would know how I feel. Most of the time I feel stupid waiting and wasting time (but nobody seems to care cuz there is too much time in their lives they don't mind wasting a little of it). For some reason I always turn out to be the one who has no patience at the end...(it's like...excuse me....I can have a life too if I don't have to take you people into consideration you know? Why should I have patience when I am the one waiting?)

I should just go out and never call people to tell them I won't be there on time. I should just not show up at various occasions and throw a "maybe" and "we will see" here and there. Life is more fun being unpredictable right? so why bother to know what you want to do? I was told people who are prompt tend to be more successful in life. I was raised up being prompt 90% of my life, and look at how "successful" my life is....right....I may be using 20 % of my life waiting for things to happen... Now we know what people tell you are not true....

Correct....I am TOTALLY venting...

Sat is gone....

Billy is practicing his guitar again....I think he really doesn't believe me when I tell him that the song he practices would stay in my brain through the whole night even when I sleep. It's a wonder why my brain seems to have a problem getting rid of certain music once I hear it, especially repetitive music. Oh well....at least there is someone in this house who enjoys playing music. Hades still wouldn't go close to the guitar unless I am around the guitar. It's funny how he sits at the door of the "practice room" but would not go in when Billy is playing. (You can tell he is paying attention to whatever is going on in the room though...)

I recorded Cindy this afternoon. I haven't record anyone since end of last year, and this time I think I am trying to get things as good as possible since I don't know when will be the next time I get to see her. Cindy is going to Iraq end of Sep and she will stay there for 1 year + 3 months. It's such a pity that I don't get to work with her more cuz I believe there are still a lot more we can do together, recording all types of diff. music. I love working with singers who can be adjusted and asked to do various things right there in the studio.

The recording we did this after noon might not be perfect, but it already took 6 hours and too much energy out of me. I should probably not get close to recording console too often or else I think I would kill myself someday. Doing production is fun but then at the same time stressful cuz I want everything to be under control. (and often times it's not possible...) It's really an art to cope with everything that can happen...to the arrange, engineer, studio, machines, and most imp of all... the singer...Maybe it's all those uncertainties (challenges) and possibilities (creativities) that makes productions so much fun.

Oh well....not like I have all the money in the world to keep on doing productions...I don't even know when will be the next time I get to record someone else. It's also not like I bump into able singers everyday. Sometimes I don't even understand why I take this sort of things too seriously really, cuz at the end not that many people care about how the music is done since nobody can tell the difference....I know....depressing for all the musicians who try to make things better....That is life really....but heck....I am not gonna do stuff worse than what I can do at the given moment.... Just have to get whatever that is possible....

I think I have stop thinking about music now. Tomorrow should be used to relax....