Packed....

For some reason I just feel last week was kinda packed with many things...I wonder if it's just my perceptions of time getting messed up or that my brain was functioning kinda weird for the entire week.....?

1st of all the tuning session kinda occupied my free day of the week, and then trying to look over Howard's Chinese version of the 4th song lyrics kinda took some brain out of me even though I procrastinated...Weekend started with a weird lunch cuz my friends from high school wanted to eat with me. Catching up for the 1st time in 13 years was really something. I think I actually enjoyed it cuz high school was such a good time in my life....I can't believe we would be meeting again in LA without ever staying in touch before. The fact that Taeja was so funny and I never knew about it was particularly amusing to me. I guess we will be meeting again soon with another friend who we missed this time.... and soon enough I will be turning into a Japanese cuz all of them are....

House hunting this week turned out to be more promising even though we looked at less houses. I think the market is continue to go down and we may actually be able to get an ok house with our original budget in the future. Nobody really knows how the market will be, but then hopefully we will just be able to catch the right one at the right time. Buying a house is so troublesome I am starting to wonder if I will have the patience to find the right one with so much time and energy spent...sighs...

Weather was extremely hot through the weekend...and gas price is soaring sky high....not like that has any connections to what we did over the weekend really....but just popped into my head for some reason. Jay and Billy tried to work on the Eng version of the 4th song but didn't seem like it was going too well. I certainly hope we will have a chance to do that version and get our mixing fees worth it....but oh well....It's really not up to me at this point...

I also got a new phone 1st time after quite a while. I used to change my numbers every year just to escape from people who I don't want to stay in touch with. I definitely changed my phones every year if not less than a year. I don't know what just happened to me for the past 2 + years...maybe I was always waiting for the best to come and it never did...life is funny at times...yeah....that is too much thinking from a simple phone....but seriously to think about the change was kinda weird...What really happened to me in the past 3 years? hum...

K..I am tired of typing...just gonna upload this photo Billy took for us at the reunion lunch....Noriko on the left used to have the same violin teacher back in high school....Taeja on the right was never really my friend friend. She was also a student at Interlochen for 4 years but graduated one year earlier than me. It's funny she is the person who found out we live close nowadays and suggested meeting up....Oh....I can't stop cracking up when they told Billy how diff. I looked back then...I guess it's always fun to surprise people....lol...

collecting info while working....

Sleep was getting better but not all that ideal cuz I was probably worried about the tuning session for the songs this morning. I guess I am just not very good at "not worrying for tomorrow"....(or the future in general) So I woke up earlier, got out earlier than planned, and arrived to Kevin's place almost one hour before the appt. I was lucky that when I called Jacob to ask for Kevin's phone numbers Jacob actually picked up the phone. Kevin was nice enough for me to start our session earlier cuz he was wrapping up previous work in the morning anyway.

After importing all the tracks we needed to tune, Kevin listened to the 1st song (which I told him would take the longest to tune) and started smiling. He went "wow....this is gonna be EASY...songs are in such good conditions to tune it will be fast"....and then of course he went on talking about how Pastor Chen's project was way more work for him cuz notes can get 2-3 notes off with the worst incidents...Well...I don't know why I am TOTALLY not surprised about how people complain about working with certain producers....I guess I have been there and seen it all...too bad...

I found out some interesting info with this new engineer I am working with. (yeah....don't ask me why I get to know people's lives....they just tell me....) He is only 28...(yeah can't believe now I am working with people younger than me. I must be turning real old.....), from Canada, and married someone from Hawaii. That was not the most interesting part (I mean a guy being married at his age...). The shocker was that he has been married for almost 10 years now. They have dated back when they were around 15-16, and he got married when he was 19. After hearing that I started to wonder if Jacob is the only Christian engineer who is not married left in the industry....cuz most of them get married super young in the states for some reason...

Kevin and his wife were touring together since they were still kids. He plays the drums and she sings..(yeah perfect match for all the drummers...some worked some didn't....) They stopped touring cuz they had a kid....(and the son is 7 years old now....man...talking about being young parents....amazing....) They have a dog which is 10 years old + acts like a cat. The dog is kinda small and they try to keep him slim.....etc....so how much more do I have to know? I wonder...

We finished tuning three songs in less than 4 hours...That was like super fast but I am sure he completely appreciated how picky I was with the singers when we recorded....cuz seriously we didn't have to do much to make the songs sound decent. Oh...I also found out he and his wife works for a lot of TV and film productions now and he has no business cards cuz they are too busy with cases they don't really care about getting new clients....Keep in mind....all those chatting were done while we were working....pretty efficient I would say....

I guess I am feeling much better on the three songs now since they sound half way decent before mixing. I can't stop worrying about the 4th song now since we don't have the lyrics ready and yet recording is set to be next Sat. I really hope this weekend would be the time we wrap up the lyrics so at least Billy will have a week to learn the words....Ok....have to stop worrying before my head blows now....

What do you write for?

I was reading blogs of various people after I finished all the teaching and things I needed to do for the day. All of a sudden I started wondering why people write blogs. Do we really have THAT much to say anyway? Do we write because nobody really cares about what happens in our lives so we HAVE to share it somehow and let it out? Do we write because there is nobody to talk to in real life so we have to pretend we are talking to someone while we type? Are we afraid that if we don't write we will forget about everything in the future when we get older?

It's quite interesting how distant people become after we "mature" with age. Internet seems to be the only thing that holds our friendships, relationships, or even families together. Is it just how this world is going be? It's quite convenient indeed, but then is it relational? Do people actually get to communicate in a deeper level? perhaps internet gives us a better of covering up and hiding ourselves behind the screens? It's hard to tell really....

I write cuz I don't tend to remember things for a long time. I write because I need an outlet for my stress. I write so my families in the other side of the planet gets to know what is going on with my life. They probably care about about my life....that I am about 99 % sure...I also write so I have a place to process my weird thoughts. I am pretty sure not all strange thoughts are well appreciated. I guess I also write for those who can KINDA understand my tangled up mind.....

Procrastination....

Didn't sleep too well last night again...not like it's anything new...but I think I actually had too much in my mind. I think the main reason why my brain was moving in a weird speed is because I knew I had to think through the lyrics Howard wrote so everything can fit nicely with the music I wrote....but I didn't really feel like spending my brain juice on it for some reason....so I procrastinated....That....really didn't help me to get anything done either. I waited and put it off in the morning. I got my violin back from Pasadena around noon. I even started playing for 15 min just because I didn't want to get to work....and then I gave up cuz I couldn't even drink coffee and watch TV....

So my part of work on the lyrics is kinda done and I will bug Howard to fix a little one more time. Hopefully we will be able to get it wrapped up before weekend. I will also have to get three other songs tunned with Jacob's friend who lives far away....I hope that will also go smoothly. I have no idea why I am having a lot more to do when I actually teach less. It's just not very economical of my time I think. sigh....don't even know why I am trying with the EPs. It feels like nobody really cares much about it other than the people actually writing....I hope it's not all in vain...

I think I need some fresh air before I do something else...can't stop my head from spinning yet...

at the speed of a snail....

Not sure my brain is functioning REALLY slow right now. The only reason I can think of with this slow reacting head of mine is the change of schedule today. I started my day by teaching three students in the morning cuz the kids have spring break now. I can't even really remember how I got through the lessons. I am not even sure what I told them....but I am sure something really useful....right....

After the lessons I went and bought the food for the entire week. I guess shopping at odd times during weekdays is really nice since there is basically nobody in line for just about anything. I started cooking after I got home and had a cup of coffee...and that really felt like the whole afternoon. I am sitting here now trying to think if I should start looking at the lyrics Howard wrote on my song...but seriously my brain isn't functioning.....

It's really amazing how life gets messed up when routines get disrupted by certain incidents...hum.......

Thank you....really....

I was watching this program called 大學生了沒 since last night. They were talking about families and relationships between parents and kids. I can totally tell Billy wasn't all that into the show when I was watching it last night cuz he usually does not appreciate "negative" shows much. I tried to finish the unwatched portion by myself during day time today. I have to say the stories the kids were telling were quite depressing. Almost everyone in the show was crying listening to the stories.....

It is quite amazing how people are irresponsible nowadays. They have kids without thinking about the responsibilities. They can't deal with their own problems so they expect the kids to get involved and help them out. They leave the families when disasters cannot be reversed without thinking who caused the troubles at 1st place. Of course there will always be problems in life, but to cause a lot of pain for people who didn't have the choice to decide if they want to be in the same family with you....is just lame....

It is like a bad cycle when divorce rate climbs up with kids grow up in unhealthy environment. Kids not given the right education and moral values later on get into screwed up relationships, and then messed up marriages. History then repeats and gets worse by generations. With the students I teach, I only see half of them having semi-healthy families....and we are talking about well off families that can afford to have their kids take lessons with me....so what about others who I don't even have the chance to see?

I think only by watching those depressing shows I can learn how to be thankful more. I have always been proud to have the parents I have even though we are not wealthy or anything. I am not sure if my youngest brother knows how to appreciate them as much as I do at this point cuz he is still young....but I am sure someday he will go out and discover how fortunate he is compared to his friends out there in the world. I guess it's good I have been away since I was 14 so I get to see a lot of messed up situations when I was still young. The bad side of that is how I no longer have much hope and faith in people around me.....

I am glad I finished the show by myself. I am glad I am able to process my thoughts after watching it....even though it's with a very complicated feeling. I am glad I don't have to go through whatever those kids went through, and I am glad I am teaching some of the kids who have similar situations. I consider the time worth spending when I can bond with those poor kids. I wish they will know better when they have a family of their own in the future. I wish the stupid parents would someday wake up and understand how dumb they are by messing up other people's lives....and I thank my dad and mom for being who they are.....

April Fool? You bet....

April fool just passed few days ago, and yet I feel the whole week is kinda like April fool. 1st of all I had a student (who told me she wanted to major in music for the longest time...aiming only for USC....right...) telling me she finally found out about audition requirements (like after I asked her to find it out for almost half year now) and decided to just minor in music. After that she says even though she is not trying for music major, she still wants to learn cuz she loves music too much to quit. I was thinking.....right....if you love music that much you would actually listen to me and put your time into practicing instead of working part time like crazy (when she doesn't need the money at all). Through all the lessons I taught her....she probably only showed up prepared no more than 5 times. (On top of that she is late almost half of her lessons). She then told me she only wants 2 lessons a month now (after all her BS about loving music...right..), and I told her to find herself another teacher who does not mind if the students don't ever get improved. Some people are just not worth wasting life on....

So this is the sad thing about being a musician. You struggle to make money and yet what you do does not really feel like any kinda fulfillment (when it comes to teaching kids who don't mean what they say and don't really care enough to put efforts in). Through the years I fired most of those who don't mean to get better with either their playing or attitude, and yet a sense of frustration follows when you think about financial burdens. I wonder how much people can appreciate art/music/or anything entertainment related when they don't even know how stable their lives can be.

2nd thing that belongs to the April fool's pool is a gig which was supposed to happen for the coming week. I was getting excited about the gig so I started calling around to reschedule my students, and then I was told this morning that the recording isn't gonna happen until at least May. I guess there is no guarantee it's gonna happen in May either, and I already have my schedule all screwed up. I also called the violin repairman to ask if my instrument is fixed and then he told me he really didn't do any work last week. Instead of picking up today, now I have to wait till next week....if that is really happening.....So is a musician's life meant to be unstable anyway? Is that why most musicians have to marry a doctor just to stabilize everything?

3rd thing is about two phone calls last night. 1st was a phone call which I got from a person who wanted to learn piano and saw my ad on craigslist. (Yes....as pathetic as it sounds like...asking friends to refer students obviously does not mean much....so I decided to just put an ad on the internet and see what happens.) The person called...and in the middle of the conversation said he needed to get another call so he would call back later....and guess what? he never did... Oh well...not like I am expecting a lot from an ad on the internet, but sure it was not too encouraging.

2nd phone call was from Billy's mom canceling the bible study session for Thurs night. Billy was supposed to talk to his parents again with their messed up financial situation or whatever they need to talk about, and now I wonder when that is gonna be. I was planning to have the night to myself and perhaps eat with a friend or something, but now it's canceled so I guess life never goes as planned.....

Through all those cancellations with the past days....I don't know what I should expect now. I guess to never keep any hopes up should probably help on easing the disappointments in life whenever things don't happen? and yet how exciting and fun would life be when there is nothing to look forward to? That is the part of my life that I cannot figure out what to do with as for now....