Jet lag

I thought I was safe from having any jet lag since my sleep went semi-smooth with help of my sleeping pills and my day went alright with my teaching scheduled and all. I went to bed around 12:30 and expected myself to at least sleep through the night till 6 or 7....Unfortunately I am now up since 3:30, and even with the 2nd half of sleeping pill I am still wide awake. I think Hades is completely back to his sleeping habit now. He is not waking up so much as last night cuz his excitement level obviously dropped since our return. Billy seems to sleep quite well through the night even though he claimed to wake up few times last night. So I guess I am just getting old and having troubles adjusting to the time....

My brother Clement has been putting "school is gonna start" on his MSN name since last night. I guess both of us are not too fond of heading back to our own reality. It seems like our home is such a place where us kids can feel sheltered and have fun, it becomes difficult for us to leave again once we return. I think my parents should be proud of how well they set up the feeling of "home" for us.....If someone like me who basically grew up alone still feels so at home there, then they must be successful managing this family. Even with my youngest bro Ivan always wanting to hang out with friends and check out new places, he has to admit he enjoys the time all of us are home making cold jokes. I guess the family tight is strong enough for us to be so far away from each other and yet feel as one whenever we meet.

I think my sleeping pill which I just took 30 min ago is still not kicking in. I should of try it with hot water to activate it faster. I am gonna head back to bed and hope to be able to get up in time for my morning student. It will be the last time she is able to come to my place for a lesson since her working schedule changed for spring. It will be such a drag for me to drive to her place and teach her all the weeks after....but considering she is taking her lunch breaks to do it, I will just try to be nice and help out....sighs....alright....back to bed...

Polishing my skills

1st day after I got back to LA, still trying to adjust.....I have to say I am not too trilled to come back and face reality. I am not looking forward to my teaching schedules, worries in life....and probably the worst of all....Billy's nagging mom. I think the only thing I was happy to see was my precious cat, and he sure was excited to see me that he didn't sleep much at all through the whole night. I was depressed enough to consider the possibilities of moving out of LA, but then I guess it won't be any time soon.

Things got better this morning since I was woken up by a phone call. The contractor who I talked to before I left LA had someone call me for an easter concert in March. When I was listening to the voicemail last night I thought I would not be able to make it since I may be gone that weekend. After checking with my schedule I realized I can actually play for it so I planned to call her back when I wake up, just to see if they still have the gig open. Out of my surprise the contractor called again and I told her to book me for one of the two offers she told me about. It looks like I will be playing for Hollywood Bowl's easter concert on the easter Sun if nothing goes wrong before then.

I guess that is one new thing for me. I hope connections will slowly build so I will get to play more gigs and get my hands less rusted. I have temporarily decide to concentrate on my own life and see what other things I can do. I was reading Edward's blog and from what he wrote I realized I really should try to enjoy life more since there are many diff. types of lives and it's all about how we choose to live. I will have to kinda stay on the positive side of things (this is quite tough for me with my naturally pessimistic personality) and ignore things that bother me. It's my life after all and I won't let other people mess my life up for me. So that is it for now....I will polish my "ignoring" skills from now on.

Photos from TW will be updated later.....Those are from the good times.

Are you one of them?

Got a private message from my facebook with a video link which has stuff that dated 5 years ago. It's from an ex-friend of mine that apparently still has the stuff in his HD. I feels kinda weird to see the video clip and think about how everything has changed since then. He wanted to be the last person who wished me a big "30th" happy BD on the day....I guess I have to call him creative enough. I guess my BD still means something to some people cuz I have been getting some odd blessings from people who I thought would not remember. (some not really desired unfortunately) orz....

I am not writing this to show how imp I am, or else I would just have a huge party instead, and make everyone pay attention to the date. I am writing just to raise a question here. How many BDs do we really have inputed in our brains? How many times a year do we celebrate BDs with people because we really remember? Do we remember because they are imp? or because they remembered ours and we feel bad if we don't remember theirs? Do other people's BDs actually mean enough for us to want to celebrate for them?

I tend to think people are selfish. I think people only remember their loved ones' BDs. By remembering someone's BD it shows certain amount of love and importance. I think remembering is already hard enough...and to be willing to take another step further and want to celebrate for the person in some way without a "party call" from someone else, it just means caring in a whole diff. level. At least to me that is the case.

Nowadays it's not difficult at all to know someone's BD, especially with all those reminders with various internet accounts. There are only about a handful of people who I really remember their BDs by heart. If I exclude my family members, I think I only have around 3-4 friends who I have their BDs engraved in my brain. I guess I am just forgetful, or maybe that is the way I want it to be...just so I don't have to remember too much from the past. Not too much reminded from the past, not too much throbbing feelings.

I wonder 10 years from now whose BDs will I remember?

Birthday....You don't want to know how old...

Well....today I am officially 30. I think I have been feeling a little sentimental since few days ago cuz I feel old and not accomplishing much in life. Most of my friends have their own careers now and it looks like my career would be teaching kids who cannot make it in music and dealing with parents who do not know how to raise their kids...yeah...great career. I guess I know why kids like talking to me than talking to their parents now....cuz we both dislikes their parents...

Ok...end of my depressing career. Friends ate with us last night at Cafe Bizou in Pasadena. I was quite entertained that I really didn't get anyone to celebrate our BD with us this year. Last year we had around 15 people all together but this year I just didn't even bother. Maybe it's the fact that I am losing friends or maybe it's because I don't want to feel old or something. Anyway...We just had a simple get together with 3 friends that is all. Surprisingly enough Chih-Lin was the person who organized it. I think she probably felt she had to do it since I organized for her BD thingy. LOL....

I have to say my memory from the last time I went to Cafe Bizou was quite diff. from this time. It was perhaps 5 years ago or even longer. A weird combination of people celebrated my BD for me there. I think that was the year when I got my i-pod for BD present. It's weird to think about it now. Food tasted quite pleasant back then, plus it was not raining like last night. I have to say I did enjoy listening to friends chat last night, and it's like I can really just sit there and relax when old friends are around....just don't have to talk when I don't feel like it. It's amazing how we went way back...and "technically" everyone is married now....we just have to find a better man for Chih-Lin.

Well...here are photos...I ordered roasted lamb chops. Billy ordered some sort of steak. (I have no idea which kind cuz I was not listening). Chih-Lin ordered fish so I didn't take a photo, and Jay's food was super ugly and muddy so I didn't bother. I was gonna take a picture of Charlene's shrimps but then I think she was eating already so I didn't want to bother her either. (If Sherry was around she would get all mad that I was wasting time taking photos of food...lol...)

You see how the blinds are creating lines on our faces? Cool effect....We tried to take another one in Chih-Lin and Charlene's seats without the lines, but turned out blurry cuz of the lighting.
Group shots. The 2nd one is bigger but not as clear...Looks cozy?
We got bread pudding and creme Brulee for dessert. Jay's dessert was kinda ugly so I didn't take a photo of that either....lol....

Oh....and I was just told Ming was around in orange county over the weekend, but had no car to drive up. It would be scary to have him join our meal too cuz then it would of been three people with the same BD in one place. How often do you get that, right?

Future?

Well....I did something today which is gonna make me lose 300 dollars per month from now on...I fired the student who has a very stupid parent who ticks me off all the time by canceling + switching time and informing me last min always. To be honest, I am feeling damn good about it. Two weeks ago I already patiently explain to my student she is not the cause of things, but I do have to give my life better emotional quality by not dealing with her mom. I think the kid understood me alright cuz she hates how her mom does things too...well...too bad I have to lose money again but that is that. I am not sure I want to live long, but I don't want to get killed by a stupid mom for sure. I will just think of other ways to make up the money in the future.

We went to "The Lobster" on Santa Monica Pier for dinner tonight. The main reason why we went was because Billy wanted to celebrate our 1st year anniversary + our BD. It's kinda scary that we really got registered exactly 1 year ago. Time surely flies. I am also getting real old....30...man....don't know what else I am gonna do with my life....having middle life crisis. Anyway.....those photos show how the restaurant looks like form the inside. The view should be much better if the lighting is more complimentary. I actually cheated a little with my camera...You can see the real weather from the following photos.


This is the view from the restaurant....The weather was really not helping...but at least it didn't rain when we were there.

Billy trying to look cute....right...lol...The menu clearly indicates where it's from...

This was the lobster we got...It was like 1 1/2 lb or something.

This was the crab cakes I got with little white corn salad on the top. It was quite good.

This is the dessert we got...Blueberry cob something....ice cream on the top and hot blueberries at the bottom with cookies in the middle. They stuffed so much blueberries in the bowl it was amazing...

Well...I am feeling a little complicated right now...I wonder what the future really holds...

Too fast? or too slow?

Have you ever wonder why time goes so fast sometimes? I guess when we don't think about it much, it goes with a regular tempo....but when we think about it....it gets scary and moves like a Presto...

I was trying to mail a letter and get some latte from Starbucks, and that took me 30 min. I was trying to laundry this morning, and two out of the three machines were broken. The result of that is more than 2 hours just to finish laundry. Getting materials ready and finish cooking them is about one hour. Folding clothes is about 10 min. After all that....you discover all the time just disappeared and you have not done anything all that meaningful.

I thought it was only few years ago when I last joined my own family retreat for Chinese new year, and it's actually around 5 years ago. It seems just like yesterday when I think about my high school years, and my high school friends told me it's already 15 years ago since we 1st met. My last tour with ministry was already a year ago, and it's more than 4 years since I saw my Asian friends. Man...what did I do with all those years really?

Have you ever wonder why time does not budge much when you want it to move faster? When you want something or someone to just disappear from your life they never do? When you want miracles to happen in your life it never does? When you want to accomplish something you cannot find the right time or resources to finish? Days become to feel like years till you actually forget how long it has been?

Time is really an odd thing, isn't it....

No good....

Sometimes you just can't predict who would be reading your blog. I guess that is why many people have several blogs so one can lock specific ones which you don't really want others to read. For people as bright and positive as Billy he probably does not ever have to lock anything. For people more like me, who has diff. shades of darkness to contribute to this world, there are diff. blogs and diff. categories of readers who I have to take care of. So... that is that...

I think I have been crazy about traveling and cannot stop thinking about where and when my next trip is gonna happen. Maybe it's because I was trapped for too many years and now free to go. Maybe it's just who I am. I just can't seem to stay put for too long. I guess this urge would be a good motivation for me to keep on teaching and saving money....just so I will be able to go to places and see the world before this life ends. Maybe this part of my personality which craves for changes is the reason why it is difficult for me to be too attached to anything, cuz then when I have to leave it gets annoying. No attachment is probably easier for a person who wants to be on the move once a while.

We were watching the "million star" show form TW this afternoon. Ivan kinda told me about the result on Fri already and I was amused about the fact that dad watched with him till the end. I guess dad is way more hip than I think, even thought I have always thought he is hip enough for his age (mentally of course). Result of the competition is quite a surprise for many people. I think what it teaches us is that....acting over your age is no good...thinking too much is no good...and there is really nothing that we can predict in life....There are always certain manipulations done by others in life and things don't really go the way we want it to go. Am I thinking too much? yeah....and that is probably no good...