Nightmares?

I have been having quite a number of nightmares recently. It's really quite weird since I am a person who does not really dream when I sleep. I wonder if it's because of the stress I have been having recently since most of the time my nightmares would be somehow related to issues I am stressed about in life.

Tiffany was telling me how she grinds her teeth while she was sleeping, and she never did that in her whole life. I told her to go see a shrink cuz she also cannot stop biting her nails. I personally think the stress is related to her dad being here again. Annie also told me that she grinds her teeth, and the stress is from her mom. So...I guess I may be grinding my teeth after a while if I keep on having weird nightmares for a while...

Billy went to work around midnight on Sat. and didn't come home until around 6 or so Sunday morning. I guess he really has a lot of stuff to take care of at work since he took so much time off for the trip. I was not able to sleep almost for the whole night cuz all of a sudden I was missing the snoring sound next to me. I guess people do get used to things easily, and I was probably worried about him driving without having enough rest even though he had my car to talk to.....

I was trying to sleep more this morning to make up for all the lost hours, but what I got was more nightmares. I am not sure what the content was, but the virgo guy was involved....I really don't think dreaming means better sleeping quality even though that is what Billy thinks. Anyway.....just want to make a note on my newly developed problem....

Where is da sista?

We have been playing with our new car (Acura TSX) since Thurs night. The car is equipped with some interesting functions which kept us entertained such as ability to memorize diff driver seat settings (up to two only...but it's quite interesting how the car can adjust the seat setting just by which remote control you use...oh...and it would say "welcome, driver 2", but it does mention anything about driver 1...kinda makes me disappointed being driver one...hahaha....), built in blue tooth phone system, built in remote control for up to three garage doors, etc.

The voice that talks in the TSX can either be female or male. Billy 1st set the voice to be female and wrote on his blog about how he hopes I will not to change our TSX from a "she" to "he". I cracked up when I read his blog last night cuz I just changed the voice to male in the afternoon yesterday. I guess all guys do want their cars or instruments to be their babes. It's quite entertaining really... I thought it would be cool if they put some famous voices for choices...imagine how it's gonna be if you have Jack Nicholson talking to you when you drive.

We dropped Annie off at her house since her car was at repair shop. Billy turned on the phone function when we drove home...just to talk to the car. He was throwing questions like "What else can you do?", and the car was saying "pardon?" all the time....at the end....Billy asked..."where is your sister?"....wa lei....like the car is really a person and has a whole family hiding somewhere....hahahaaha.......That just shows you how self entertained people get...

Summer schedule has been a mess...

Summer schedule has been a mess cuz of the wedding and how my students always have this and that coming up...I just finished all students for this week and I am really looking forward to not teaching for the next three days. I guess I should really not complain about teaching at all, since a lot of kids will be gone starting Aug. Few of them will be at TW for the rest of the summer, and many of them are going to travel with families and friends.

I think at least 5 of my students are going to Alaska in Aug. I wonder why everyone is going to Alaska. I wanted to go years ago with my family but then dad and mom ended up not coming for that summer. Accidents just happen everywhere I guess. They said it's 7 years ago...I don't even remember that being so long ago. I don't think I am that into Alaska now since everyone is going nowadays.

Melody's mom told me the reason why everyone is going there is because most of people cannot get their passports on time to travel overseas. (Some sort of screw up by the government again...but I don't have to worry about it since I don't have US passport anyway....:p). Yeah....I guess my students are all rich enough to travel overseas every year...Maybe I should start looking for more students since I will be really bored and not making much money in Aug when everyone is gone... I just don't know if I will be up to all the teaching when school starts though...

Maybe I should just enjoy my time in Aug and take a trip somewhere. Maybe I should write a few songs so my skills won't get rusted. (If there is any skill at all....hahaha) Maybe I should just spend more time with Hades...(but then he just keeps on sleeping a lot nowadays.) I hope his health is alright. It gets me worried when he only sleeps and does nothing. Anyway...It just seems like life is still not back to normal yet....after all those months of hoping for stability...

Some people are fat for a reason....

I went to AAA this morning to see if I can get a quote for the new car we are gonna get pretty soon. The agent who was helping (or not helping) me was a fat Mexican woman who was about three times my size. (Believe me....I am not that small in Asian size already...and she was 3 times bigger.)

I asked her to give me a quote on Billy and my new car so we can probably insure together when I get the new car next week since we are married. 1st she only gave me a quote on the new car with my name only, and then all of a sudden she said "if you two are not gonna insure together I will have to put him on the exclusion list since you are in the same household." I was thinking....what the heck....even the car rental companies understand spouses drive each other's cars, and now you want to "exclude" my husband cuz he is living with me?

I kept my cool and just asked her to quote us for both my car and Billy's s 2000. The price was not that appealing and she was not even trying to answer all my questions. She really didn't look like she wanted my business and her math was ridiculous. 1st she asked Billy's BD and said we would just assume he got his license when he was 18. SO...1972+18 became 1992...what the heck?

I was so annoyed about her attitude and dumbness I just asked her if I can insure Billy for the last week I have remaining with my Altima. She looked in her computer and tried to be busy for 5 min....and then she told me...."I can't tell you how much it's gonna cost for a week, but I can tell you if you want to insure him for the remaining of your policy till end of May next year it's gonna be around 600." Right....Didn't you just hear me telling you the lease is up on Aug 1st THIS YEAR?

I tell you.....some people are fat cuz it's genetic. Some people are fat cuz they eat too much and have no control.....and some people....are....fat....because they are lazy and probably eat too much at the same time. (or maybe they are lazy because they are too fat...I don't know...goes both ways...) At the end I just told that lady to forget about everything and I am not gonna let Billy drive my car for a week. (Even if I do let him drive...I am not gonna tell you...cuz you probably wouldn't remember anyway....) AAA is not getting another cent from me then....and I may just cancel the whole policy in Aug when the lease is up.

Conclusion of this story....When people don't want your business....just give them no business....I am sure there are others who want it.

What if waiting is eternal?

I have been waiting for photos people took from our wedding cuz I want to get the complete collection before we make a DVD for grandma to watch. The thing is....it's terribly hard to get anything from anyone. We didn't even get photos from our hired photographer even though it's been more than two weeks from the wedding....and of course all the friends who took photos are too busy to burn a disc for us...oh well...what is the surprise here? It's not their wedding after all....

I wanted to put some postings on our wedding and the trip, but then just has not been in the mood recently. I wanted to just post Joelle's blog since she wrote a pretty long one on our wedding. I am not sure if that is a good thing though....cuz I am not sure if everyone reading that writing will be happy....hahahaha....(I was pretty content with the writing...so I am not complaining :p)

I have also been waiting for my life to get back to calmness. I can't even seem to read a complete book or write something smoothly. I can't remember when was the last time I was able to just do something I like without worrying about other issues. I guess there is no worry free life anyway, but I don't get why there needs to be more and more troubles in life just because we grow older each day. Maybe that is why people look forward to eternal rest so much?

We are always waiting for something better to happen in life....but what is the point waiting anyway? Are things really going to get better just because we hope they will? Are they gonna move in any directions we want just because we sit there and wait? What if waiting is eternal and you never get it at the end? Isn't it gonna be ironic when we go up to so called "heaven" and then find out it's really not that impressive after all? That idea amuses me really.

Hey people think I am quite negative on views of life....at least I get entertained with my black humor....no matter how cynical it gets. Does life get better because we ignore the black sides? yeah....right....I am sure someone would say "Does life get better when you always look at the bad sides?"....I guess I just like dealing with the reality more than dealing with the dreams....just not a dreamer....maybe there is something wrong with that too.

I was reading what Joelle wrote on her blog today. Quite inspiring how everything is relative....I guess only people weird like us can actually jump out of situations and get analytical as if we weren't in the shit itself...Anyway....meeting her tonight....finally meeting someone who I can talk to without worrying about what I say in the longest time ever....

Not as expected...

There are a lot of things in life that you just can't have too much expectations on....cuz things don't happen as we wish anyway.

I thought life would get much more relaxing after the whole wedding episode, but that was some sort of wishful thinking. Dental visit this morning wasn't all that pleasant. My cold sore right on the lip wasn't helping the whole process, and the stupid assistant kept on touching the spot even though the doctor told him to stay away from it. I guess some people are just not meant to do certain jobs.

The crown for this tooth shall be done after two weeks. I will have to pull out two of my wisdom teeth and one tooth which only has half left on the top in the future. I guess it's just an endless process and hopefully next time I won't have to deal with two pains at the same time.

My "crazy-on-socializing" mother in law complained about not seeing me much thus making it hard for her to get to know me more. I wonder how much she got to know me through all those big group eat outs/gatherings over the past year. I wonder how much more she needs to know about me other than that I am quite anti-social when it comes to endless repetitive gatherings which is absolutely meaningless to me.

Billy reminded me pastor So warned us on how we are marrying not only to each other, but the families too. I don't know if he also remembers that pastor So warned him there is only so much I can take and things better not go over my limits before I snap. I personally don't think I am that dumb to think his family won't get in the way before we got married. I even know it will be the biggest problem of all to be honest. I just didn't expect there would be no boundaries with the way people should "interact" with each other. I now don't know if building up my own family is more imp than compromising with someone else's idea of families.

I thought I have already done enough of compromising and socializing, but apparently there is so much of me that people think they should KNOW. Aren't I just so special? I guess people just get really bored and want to mind others' business when they can't feel fulfilled in their own lives. I saw that with my own aunt this time and I guess those types of people are just everywhere. My way of dealing with those people is to stay away so there would not be conflict or confrontation someday....but I wonder what should happen when the other side just want to push it.

Look....I am just a loser musician who cannot do anything other than teaching private students to earn little money everyday. I lived by myself ever since 14 and survived whatever I needed to survive with lousy people around from ministries. I hate it when people intrude my space and life no matter how much they want to be friends. I hang out with people who I can feel free and comfortable with and those people are getting fewer each day. I have a cat that I love dearly and he has depressions because of me. What else is there to know about me?

It's tiring to fight

It's tiring to fight with people. It's tiring to fight with things. It's tiring to fight with environment. It's tiring to fight with ways of living. It's tiring to fight with Evil. It's tiring to fight with just about everything.....