Prices to pay

There are prices to pay in life. Nothing would just go perfect as we all wish they would. Everyone wishes problems would be solved if we just think they will be. It's hard to recognize and admit it when things just would NOT go our way. Why am I saying all this? well....because I am kinda fed up with people thinking how everything would be alright if we just hide under the blanket so we don't see anything. (Sometimes it's hard to understand why people don't see the differences between wishful thinking and reality....but apparently people don't.)

It gets entertaining to watch people, especially in relationships....It's like all of the sudden brains stop to function and nothing makes senses any more. (Nothing seems to make sense for outsiders at least.... People who are in it usually think everything makes sense 100 %) I wonder if that is why marriages go bad at the end, cuz people just can't think straight when they decide to get married. People who can go on with their marriages for years are either just very lucky, or very blessed by God. (or they work their butts off to save it....)

I honestly think I am getting tired of hearing about relationships. Most of the time you see the problems right away but people tend to think they have ways out of holes they dig. They ask for your opinions but then you know they will continue with their stupid ways of doing things. I really don't get too upset about the "being stupid" part cuz I have been trained to get used to it through many cases....what really bugs me is how they want me to give opinions which they would never listen to anyway...why the heck do they ask really?

Like what I told Billy....I am washing my hands clean from things. I am not gonna even be nice and suggest anyone to "think" carefully on stuff (since nobody can think when they are in it so I have heard...) I am just gonna sit and chill... and stop feeling dumb suggesting anything. There are prices to pay in life whenever you want to get something or whenever a decision is made. I think we should all take care of our own bills 1st before we get too eager to pay for others. Life shouldn't be all about getting into other people's troubles....(and I do think I need some nocturnal peace so I need to get less issues troubling my mind...not sure if I have the nocturnal faith yet....so I will work on the peace 1st)

The person who has the nocturnal faith in this house is sleeping early today cuz I think he is feeling sick. It's a funny feeling to be sitting here alone writing my blog late at night. I can't remember when was the last time this living room gets so quiet at night. Hades is right besides me and I am writing....feels like years ago it's almost amusing. I am blahing about useless stuff I almost feel uplifted somehow. yeah....weird I know...

What is new?

Dental appt once again this morning....(to get the real crown settled on the bottom tooth which had a huge cavity). The assistant wanted to do the procedure for me but then I wanted to ask the doc why it's still sensitive... so the doc ended up doing the whole thing for me. I hope this tooth will start to feel better so no RCT needs to be done later...or I will really hate it....

This time the dentist started talking to me about his electric violin and asked me if putting a pick up on his classical violin would be good....so I gave him some tips on using this condense mic which I play with all the time. He seemed to be very inspired from all the "mic talk" that he waived some outstanding charge out of the last wisdom tooth extraction.

What happened was that the insurance company didn't cover as much as he thought on the extraction....(cuz it was a surgical procedure instead of regular extraction)...so the front desk asked me to pay for the extra... but then after I kinda "inquired" about this to Dr. Wu and he told the front desk to just credit that money for next time...(which will be another extraction of wisdom tooth....sighs....)

The stupid assistant tried to carry a conversation with me this time. Apparently I am known as "the musician" in this office now so he asked me how my music career is going. Even though I hate it when he has to do anything on my teeth I still politely answered "I only teach a little nowadays". He was trying to take an X-ray for the wisdom tooth that will get extracted next time, and failed THREE times!!!!!! I feel that I can just sue him for the extra radiation that I had to absorb because of his lame skills.

So...I guess nothing was new about my dental visit. It was uncomfortable, the dentist talks too much about music with me, the assistant is clumsy and makes me suffer even more, I lost quality sleep last night.....I really hope situation would of improved over the past numerous visits but it didn't....I guess I am never gonna get used to dental visits...sighs...

Pavarotti...

Pavarotti died at the age of 71.....and I am starting to get a little depressed about this. I was thinking about going to his concert last year, and I never knew he had cancer. I guess a lot of times we all think there is still other chances in life... but sometimes the chance would never come again. This is getting a little bit sentimental I know....but Pavarotti's voice kinda accompanied me through childhood.

I still remember dad had recordings of Pavarotti, and he liked to listen to those Italian folk songs and popular songs sang by Pavarotti. I bought few CDs for dad when I was in high school too.....(the ones that Pavarotti recorded with his friends who sing in diff. music categories). I remember how the "three tenors" were such a big thing when they were performing for the world cup soccer games. I wonder who is gonna be the next one to die with the other two left. I certainly didn't expect Pavarotti to be the 1st one though....

Man....life.....short for sure....

Black Fish's Son?

Mom was nagging to me about cooking that "Black Fish's Son" ever since grandma gave them to me from TW. I totally ignored it cuz I never cooked those before and was just too lazy to figure out. I was even more lazy to go out and buy food today... so I thought I would just open that box of "Black Fish's Son" and see if they look pleasant to me so I will cook them. So....I took them out, defrosted them, and just cooked them.

It was kinda weird cuz the whole cooking process probably only took 5 min after they were defrosted. I don't really get why those "Black Fish's sons" are so expensive cuz I think they taste just about the same no matter how you cook them. Easting that many tiny little eggs is probably not too healthy either.....but Chinese people seem to love it. Chinese people like all sorts of weird things...

Anyway....my assignment of cooking it is done and over with. I would call it a success since it's eatable. This way mom won't nag at me about it any more. :p

P.S. The knife at home was not working too well and my cutting skill is lame as well....don't look at the ugly shapes...thanks....:p

Weirdo confirmed....

I have been watching this Korean soap during lunch time for the past few weeks. It's funny that I still don't like the main character guy. I have noticed (through various TV shows and movies) that I often like the secondary characters more. I wonder what is the reason behind this phenomenon.... Is it because I always like weirdos? or that I sympathize those who don't get enough attentions? or that I am a weirdo myself so I tend to have diff. taste compared to the norm?

Annie brought back whole bunch of books from TW for me. I didn't even know the books are so thick cuz I just looked over them on line and asked her to order for me. I am glad she didn't have too much to carry back or else I would feel bad about all the weight added on her luggage. I was reading Mr. Tsai's blog again last night, and found out he read one of the books I bought too. I guess weird people do have the same taste. I should probably pass along some books to another Mr. Tsai after I finish reading them since he is in our weirdo club too....

I was rubbing my right eye last night cuz it was itching badly. Hades started rubbing his right eye this morning and got it all watery. I wonder if Hades really reflects stuff I feel or maybe I am just making too much out of it. He must be a weird cat to some extend, and that is why I like him so much? I guess I like stuff which consistently needs attention? I don't know when did I start to be like this. It feels like I don't know how to spend time with myself alone now if I am doing nothing.

I thought I am turning into a more severe weirdo as time passes, but that is not the truth... I was reading journals I wrote dating back from 2005 last night, and I was as weird back then....(just a little more innocent that is all). I should find stuff I wrote even more years back and see how I feel about it. Most likely it would just be another confirmation that I am "once a weirdo, always a weirdo...." :p

Life wasted waiting for people

Did you know that life is wasted waiting for people? especially when they don't even know that you are wasting your life waiting for them? I just wonder why people would not set a time so everyone knows how much time they have to use...at least this way people can waste less of their lives waiting for things to finally happen. I wonder if it's my fate to always be the one waiting.....(not only I have friends who are never on time, I had to work with boss who never care about other people's time...and now I am living in a no- time- frame-cuz-anything-can-happen zone cuz we don't really seem to have plans settled for anything in life.)

I don't personally believe God wants me to learn the lesson to be less organized cuz I consider being organized and knowing what one wants to do a good thing. Maybe instead of waiting for people I should start making them wait for me so they would know how I feel. Most of the time I feel stupid waiting and wasting time (but nobody seems to care cuz there is too much time in their lives they don't mind wasting a little of it). For some reason I always turn out to be the one who has no patience at the end...(it's like...excuse me....I can have a life too if I don't have to take you people into consideration you know? Why should I have patience when I am the one waiting?)

I should just go out and never call people to tell them I won't be there on time. I should just not show up at various occasions and throw a "maybe" and "we will see" here and there. Life is more fun being unpredictable right? so why bother to know what you want to do? I was told people who are prompt tend to be more successful in life. I was raised up being prompt 90% of my life, and look at how "successful" my life is....right....I may be using 20 % of my life waiting for things to happen... Now we know what people tell you are not true....

Correct....I am TOTALLY venting...

Sat is gone....

Billy is practicing his guitar again....I think he really doesn't believe me when I tell him that the song he practices would stay in my brain through the whole night even when I sleep. It's a wonder why my brain seems to have a problem getting rid of certain music once I hear it, especially repetitive music. Oh well....at least there is someone in this house who enjoys playing music. Hades still wouldn't go close to the guitar unless I am around the guitar. It's funny how he sits at the door of the "practice room" but would not go in when Billy is playing. (You can tell he is paying attention to whatever is going on in the room though...)

I recorded Cindy this afternoon. I haven't record anyone since end of last year, and this time I think I am trying to get things as good as possible since I don't know when will be the next time I get to see her. Cindy is going to Iraq end of Sep and she will stay there for 1 year + 3 months. It's such a pity that I don't get to work with her more cuz I believe there are still a lot more we can do together, recording all types of diff. music. I love working with singers who can be adjusted and asked to do various things right there in the studio.

The recording we did this after noon might not be perfect, but it already took 6 hours and too much energy out of me. I should probably not get close to recording console too often or else I think I would kill myself someday. Doing production is fun but then at the same time stressful cuz I want everything to be under control. (and often times it's not possible...) It's really an art to cope with everything that can happen...to the arrange, engineer, studio, machines, and most imp of all... the singer...Maybe it's all those uncertainties (challenges) and possibilities (creativities) that makes productions so much fun.

Oh well....not like I have all the money in the world to keep on doing productions...I don't even know when will be the next time I get to record someone else. It's also not like I bump into able singers everyday. Sometimes I don't even understand why I take this sort of things too seriously really, cuz at the end not that many people care about how the music is done since nobody can tell the difference....I know....depressing for all the musicians who try to make things better....That is life really....but heck....I am not gonna do stuff worse than what I can do at the given moment.... Just have to get whatever that is possible....

I think I have stop thinking about music now. Tomorrow should be used to relax....