Difficulties understanding whatever that is in this world....

Weather in LA has been crazy for the past year. It was super hot for the past week, and then started raining yesterday. The thunders were powerful and the huge sound created made Hades anxious I think. It's basically 20 + degrees lower today, and understanding this kinda weather at the end of May becomes just a little difficult.

Bible study last night went more like a drag than the normal drag toward the end of the session. Whatever people do out of good intension can always turn out to be unsatisfying. People argue for the sake of arguing and you wonder what gets done with all those time wasted arguing if what they want is not really to hear what others have to say. Telling people to be a good listener is always easier than shutting our own mouths. I sometimes wonder what is the point of studying the bible when you really have no intension of knowing the bible more. Understanding the situation becomes difficult for me sometimes.

Ivor was chatting with me from TW yesterday. Yeah he is back at TW once again...still trying to do music. I wonder why people try so hard to establish something in music when what they can provide is really not what is needed. Ivor is talented enough in writing music and I am sure his music is worth of some value....so I am still hoping the best for him....but for some other people I know....I just don't understand what they are striving for? Is it just because they have nothing else to do so that is why they are trying to create this imaginary talent of music which others don't see? I don't know....sometimes I have difficulties understanding what I am trying in my life as well.

Janelle and Jenny's mom is going through her cancer treatments. It's been years since I last saw them and visited them in Colorado. I guess things just happen. It seems like their family went through a lot of stuff, and surviving as a female pastor really didn't work all that well for their mom. Sometimes it becomes hard to tell why there were always people problems around her cuz I was never there to witness, but then you wonder if everyone who clings to God so much is doing what God really wanted. It is indeed difficult to be able to tell what God wants us to fulfill with our lives on this planet earth...do we have a predesignated path to walk? or don't we?

Charlene was telling me that Jay was coming back home last night so she was gonna stay up and wait for him. She told me that I am such a lucky person I don't have to go through all those waiting. I guess I am lucky in that sense....but then sometimes I don't understand what she is so worried about. I tend to think if a guy is not able to tell who he should concentrate on and come back to....then let them be.....cuz no matter how much you cling on to them it would not change anything at the end. After all they can be physically together with you when they are home and yet still think about others or go with other when they are on business trips. The clinging nature of female never really changed anything in the affair history right? It gets difficult for me to understand why the female spices are always so afraid of losing the males? Is it because they think the sole value existence of themselves all depend on the opposite sex? I wonder...

So I guess I have difficulties understanding a lot of things in this world, and yet I still get entertained watching everything....if not annoyed by some of them. The annoying parts eventually I will just turn my face away....just so I can enjoy watching others....