Random cat photos....

Here are some more pictures of the cats.....I took this 1st one from some distance and I think Mintie noticed me as a paparazzi....

Hades with his contoured pillow and one leg on our bed....He was not feeling well in those days cuz of his eye infection...

Mintie tends to think our bed is her bed when nobody is there in the day time....


Mintie tried to throw herself at Hades and rub against him....Hades just looked completely stunned....lol....

Mintie wanted to spend time with Hades, and Hades didn't want to "bird" her....so Mintie started sleeping after a while....

Heater is Mintie's BEST FRIEND.....She can sit and sleep right next to it without getting burnt....I just don't know how that works....

Attachment theory?

Hades' eye got much better after 1st day of the eye drops. I guess as long as he gets better the money spent was worth it. He got into a better mood, but still beats Mintie up whenever he feels like it. I really hope this domestic violence thing can soon be solved in their relationship.....

I was reading about this thing called 依附風格 from a friend's website and later one found out through some questions that I belong to the category of 逃避依附....which I guess was not surprising at all since from all the psychological tests I have always showed some attachment (or rather detachment) problems. My attachment style is known to be dangerous for relationships and marriages, and I guess that is also not hard to tell from people who know me well.On the other hand, Billy belongs to the 安全依附 group...which I guess is good for all sorts of relationships no matter who he is with....

SO I guess Billy is on a dangerous boat with me...we will see if this boat stays sailing for a while...Here is a link for the whole attachment theory which was supposedly developed in the 80s if anyone is interested....

Here is the simple description of the 2 adult attachment styles Billy and I have (from Wikipedia) with simple explanation on attachment styles 1st...

Attachment styles

Adults have four attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant. The secure attachment style in adults corresponds to the secure attachment style in children. The anxious-preoccupied attachment style in adults corresponds to the anxious/ambivalent attachment style in children. However, the dismissive avoidant attachment style and the fearful avoidant attachment style, which are distinct in adults, correspond to a single avoidant attachment style in children. The descriptions of adult attachment styles offered below are based on the relationship questionnaire devised by Bartholomew and Horowitz^[6] and on a review of studies by Pietromonaco and Barrett.^[7]

There are several attachment-based treatment approaches that can be used with adults.^[8] In addition, there is an approach to treating couples based on attachment theory.^[9]

Secure attachment

Securely attached people tend to agree with the following statements: "It is relatively easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don't worry about being alone or having others not accept me." This style of attachment usually results from a history of warm and responsive interactions with relationship partners. Securely attached people tend to have positive views of themselves and their partners. They also tend to have positive views of their relationships. Often they report greater satisfaction and adjustment in their relationships than people with other attachment styles. Securely attached people feel comfortable both with intimacy and with independence. Many seek to balance intimacy and independence in their relationships.

Dismissive-avoidant attachment

People with a dismissive style of avoidant attachment tend to agree with these statements: "I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me." People with this attachment style desire a high level of independence. The desire for independence often appears as an attempt to avoid attachment altogether. They view themselves as self-sufficient and invulnerable to feelings associated with being closely attached to others. They often deny needing close relationships. Some may even view close relationships as relatively unimportant. Not surprisingly, they seek less intimacy with relationship partners, whom they often view less positively than they view themselves. Investigators commonly note the defensive character of this attachment style. People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (i.e., their relationship partners).

Fearful-avoidant attachment

People with a fearful style of avoidant attachment tend to agree with the following statements: "I am somewhat uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I sometimes worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others." People with this attachment style have mixed feelings about close relationships. On the one hand, they desire to have emotionally close relationships. On the other hand, they tend to feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness. These mixed feelings are combined with negative views about themselves and their partners. They commonly view themselves as unworthy of responsiveness from their partners, and they don't trust the intentions of their partners. Similarly to the dismissive-avoidant attachment style, people with a fearful-avoidant attachment style seek less intimacy from partners and frequently suppress and hide their feelings.

Hades' vet visit....

Hades woke me up again around 5:30 in the morning. I got up and saw his eye was running with tears and discharge, worse than last night. So I guess the OTC pink eye drops we got last night from Ralph's did not work....I decided to call the vet around 7:30 and made an appointment for him.

Hades and I went to the vet around 12:30 at noon and he was looking horrified. The doctor is actually a diff. one from Mintie's, and we decided to go ahead and check if there was any scratches on his eye before we decide what medicine to give him. After the fluorescent stain test we made sure he has no scratches on his eye, so I guess it wasn't Mintie's fault after all. (I kinda thought it would not really be Mintie's fault since Hades is usually the one hitting her...but just to be sure...)

So we got home with a very little bottle of antibiotic eye drop and a bill that is 100 dollars...(Well...exactly the amount of bill I was prepared since Hades' bills had always been expensive...) I hope this is gonna take care of the eye problem in few days and Hades is gonna get into a better mood. He had been in this crappy mood ever since Sun and Mintie has been his sand bag for destressing ever since...

After all this....I really wish my own brother will someday be a vet....even though I am not sure if that is ever gonna happen. It sure is an easy way to make money since most pets don't have insurance to start with, and most of the meds need perscriptions to obtain. Anyway...It's gonna be a long day and I just pray Hades will rest and feel better...and hopefully Mintie won't get any of the bad stuff from him including bad temper....sighs....

p.s. The vet asked me one thing that cracked me up in all of this depressing incident. He looked at Hades before he went to prepare the test, and asked me "has he always been like this? kinda big?" Well....I guess he was pretty polite and didn't say Hades is just fat....

My precious Hades is sick.....sighs....

Didn't do much last weekend, but I guess it was quite relaxing even though I didn't get to catch up much sleep. Went to Uncle Frank's 70th BD dinner on Sun night and it was a super long dinner. I guess they just had too many cakes to take care of (7!!!!????), and of course it was all about over eating...

So weekend was alright except Hades started developing this eye problem on his right eye. He had some discharges on the right eye which I thought would be ok once I give him eye drops cuz they had always been the case in the past. For some reason it didn't work this time. I still don't know if he got this conjunctivitis from some sort of dirty substance or from a fight with Mintie. They had been fighting every single day I don't know if Hades' eye got scratched or something....

So for the past few days I have not been sleeping well. I woke up during middle of the night to wipe his eye and put on medication or apple cider vinegar, hoping all will get better. I guess having these two cats kinda reminded me how much sleep my parents lost over the years when I was a very sick kid. Hum...I really wish he will get better soon....sighs...

I guess Feb is all about the new cat Mintie...so far...

Just some photo update from the last 2 weeks or so...not sure if I put these two already, but anyway...1st one is the "sun cookies" and milk candy Joelle brought me from TW. The 2nd one is the clam ramen Billy cooked...looks quite Japanese...

One day Hades and Mintie actually both settled on the bed in the morning...but then they were staring at each other...

Ever since Mintie came into the house Hades looks unhappy and tired...sighs...

Billy tried to make friend for Mintie with my teddy bear....I don't think she likes him...

Mintie tried to steal Hades' blanket....but then for some reason she looked unhappy perhaps because Hades later beat her up?
.
Eh...I guess I have a house full of sleepy heads...me being the exception of course...

These pictures are as close as they get so far....but only for a very brief moment...I don't think Hades likes being next to Mintie at all...

Stuff Billy cooked for V-day...Grilled chicken with fried rice....oh and also Hamburgers for the next day...

Mintie looking serious but thin...cuz her butt is sinking on the bed...and 2nd photo is her favorite pose...stretching out her arms....

V day....

Well...haven't write a blog for a while...at 1st there was not much to write cuz I was just teaching my 2 students a day everyday, and when I got home I just watched my 2 cats. The cats are not getting along much better. They still wake up every morning before 6 and start fighting after 6. I don't really understand why they just have to repeat all those chasing and fighting early in the morning, but I guess they just don't want to let me sleep better....

The rain continued again starting on Sun night. I hope today is really gonna be the last day of rain for a while....but anyway...our Valentine's day was kinda interesting. Billy came home Fri night and said we would have to stick around and do everything together on Sat and see if that would work for Valentine's day. I thought that was just unrealistic and too much trouble....but let it be anyway...

It turned out that we didn't exactly do EVERYTHING together, but then just like all our weekends we basically did everything together for the whole time. We had McDonald's breakfast in the morning, and then Billy took me to get an iphone. The iphone was supposed to be my BD gift last year, but I didn't want the 2G iphone so I waited. Since so many people started using iphone I kinda lost my interest of having one over the year. Anyway...Billy still got one for me on Sat, and I am actually enjoying it even though I have a lot of data that I have to update for the phone....

So I guess my new iphone has been keeping me busy too. I am still getting used to it, and one thing that really annoys me is how I can't use my own mp3s as ringtones...Apple is just trying to get everyone to spend money at their Itune store...which sucks....Oh well...For the rest of the day we did food shopping, and for the night Billy cooked for dinner...Come to think of that, I guess I am quite lucky I usually don't have to cook for the weekend. Sometimes I don't even have to cook for weekdays. It certainly helps to have a hubby who cooks even though I am not all that into food.....

I guess I am running out of stuff to write about that day....I on the other hand didn't do anything for Billy....All I can say for now is....It felt good to not do anything, and I guess that is why people get lazy and not do things...lol....Well....The day wasn't bad over all and I liked my new toy after all. Thanks hubby :)

Rain rain rain....

It's finally Friday again, which means weekend is coming....Even though nothing is all that exciting for the weekend, at least I don't have to teach....The weather was only good for 2 days this week, and then rain started again early this morning. I was told it will be raining for the weekend as well, and then I saw on the TV the rain would continue even on Mon and Tue. Well....I guess life is just like the cycle of weather....There are sunny days, rainy days, storms, heat waves, snow, showers, and all the other stuff....and recently it's just more rains in LA... as well as in life....

Oh well....Feb is almost half gone. I guess it's good Feb is a short month. Maybe March will be a better month?

Are you looking great?

Just came across this article when I was reading news on line....

So I guess point of this is that husbands should really try to make their wives look better so people would think the husbands are good people....I wonder if this applies to those rich people who can just get plastic surgeries and shots to maintain good skin condition....Would people actually be convinced that their marriages are great just because people look great? lol....Anyway....just a thought....

Hopefuly it gets better day by day....

Things at home kinda calmed down a little bit. I think Mintie is probably all used to the new home and she sleeps in our room now. Hades still does like it whenever Mintie gets too close, but I think he has learned to ignore her most of the time. Hades is still in his bad mood cuz he does not purr as much as he used to, not even in the morning...I am still worried for his health even though he is eating, but he does not seem to enjoy things much nowadays since he is always watching out for Mintie....

I think now those two cats mainly have restroom and food problems. They want to compete in going to the sand box. Mintie sometimes would just step into the box without actually going to restroom. Ithink she just wants to leave her scent there. She is also very into eating Hades' dry food, which is supposed to be for old dudes...Sometimes she would eat it even when she is not hungry, just so she feels she is doing things Hades is doing I think. She follows Hades a lot, but then Hades hates having a shadow still....sighs...

One thing I have also noticed for the past few days is that Mintie chases Hades' tail when she is in her "energetic" mode in the early morning. I would hear them running around and I am not sure if they are playing or fighting. Well...maybe the exercising is good for both of them since they are both fat....Anyway....let me post some more photos....

Mintie basically took over Hades' tree house. Hades does not step on that tree any more now....but then I am happy Hades still comes up to bed sometimes when he is in better mood...and they can actually sleep on the same bed at times even though Hades usually refuses to look at her.......:)

Mintie the persistent cat....

We have decided to change Sabrina's name to Mintie now. The name came from Greek mythology as well, and she was a nymph who Hades fell for but was later turned into the plant mint by Hades' wife. The original name is Minthe but then that is weird name I guess so I decided to go with "Minty" but spell it with the ie.....Her eyes are so green I think the name would fit her well. Now we just have to teach her so she knows that is her name....

It's already the 5th day of Mintie's stay with us. Hades still hates her, and she still would not stop getting close to Hades. I guess she is one persistent cat, but Hades sure is getting upset about all his living space being taken up by her. Mintie went into Hades' room for the 1st time yesterday, and refused to sleep alone in her own room ever since. Hades was having insomnia with me for the whole night cuz his space was being invaded. He was only able to sleep well after I put him on our bed, and when Mintie went back to her room in the morning.

Hades' reactions reminds me a lot of myself. I think he is probably gonna lose weight a little in this so called "relationship".....He surely does not like the change and deprived freedom, plus Mintie and Hades just have such diff. cat-ality.... Hades wants to mind his own business and only likes certain people. He is socialble only with people he prefers....He has the ability to be socialble but does not choose to use it all the time....and for sure he is not using his charm on Mintie right now....

I am really hoping this Mintie situation is gonna turn better real soon cuz I want Hades to stay happy. Hopefully this companionship will be more beneficial to him than what it looks like right now....It certainly takes faith to see what is not happening yet....sighs....

Hades is behaving so well with bath....

Just have to make a note of this even though I just wrote the last blog....I just went and take a bath for Hades, and the whole thing (plus blow drying him) did not take more than 20 min. I have never realized how easy it is to take a bath for him and how good a cat he is until the struggle I had with Sabrina's bath yesterday.....I guess you never learn to appreciate what you had until you have something to compared it to....sighs...

New cat....and her name WAS Sabrina....

Ok....so ever since we got a new cat home, life has been busy. So far Hades is still hating her, and Sabrina is just a scared fat cat. She seems to be quite friendly but also wants to invade Hades' living space just a bit too much. Hades on the other hand threatens Sabrina with his hisses but always run away at the end....I think all three of us are losing sleeps over this, and Billy is the only person who can manage to sleep more normal. Sabrina keeps wanting to spend more time with us, and Hades keeps getting annoyed....at the end everyone is stressed....

Anyway....I think this whole new family member thing is kinda interesting. It shows personalities in each one of us. Sabrina is too friendly and curious and yet timid. Hades thinks he is the king and wants to be the center of attention, and yet is a coward inside. Billy, basically can sleep through just about anything. He thinks everything is just going to be fine, and that just ticks me off at times....I on the other hand, just worry too much and cannot sleep....

I guess things will eventually get better. I just have to make sure Hades knows he is still my favorite no matter what. I do hope they can be good companions for each other so when we are not around they don't get lonely....Anyway...better feed Hades some can food cuz he is trying to open Sabrina's dry food again....

Here is one photo of Sabrina...So far the only one that looks decent anyway.....She has incredibly green eyes which got my attention when I 1st saw that. It is not that obvious here in the photo but I will try to take some more in the future....