My little cousin becoming Canadian.....

I accidentally saw a message my little cousin Xiao-Re left on my bro's blog and visited her blog. It's funny how kids grow up so fast nowadays. I don't recall myself really talking much to her since she was always the youngest kid when I was still in TW. I guess she is going to Canada in a month or so, and pretty much stressed out about it. She kinda wants to get out of TW and study in a brand new place, but then is already feeling lonely being apart from her friends....

Whenever I have a cousin who goes to study in a foregin country, I kinda think back and review my years back in high school again. Most of the time I wonder why I didn't really struggle all that much back in high school....at least not emotionally.....I guess I was really at a place where I had a lot of fun just absorbing everything, and the place was interlectually stimulating I didn't really have much time to have emotional problems....It's amazing how after so many years I still think my high school years were the best time of my life, even though I lived in this remote little town up in Michigan with snow more than half of the year....

I am not even sure if I was worried about school much. I guess my competitive nature kept me going. I was concentrated to get the best grades I could, even with my limited Eng. I don't remember myself talking much through the years, but I guess whatever I was talking about seemed to leave impressions on people around me since they can still remember how I was back in high school even today. I guess life was just much easier when I had goals to achieve and next stage of life to go to....everything else just kinda got irrelavant....

So I guess it's understandable my life kinda goes downhills after graduate school. I really didn't have a plan for my life after graduate school. I didn't want to get a phd in music performance cuz it's just stupid, and didn't really know what one can do just having the skills playing violin decently. Everything after graduate school kinda just came to me unexpected. Got a job offer a year before I graduated so I guess my visa was none of my concern. The job turned out to be fun, but with a very corrupted boss who was eating the company's money....

My 2nd job came while I was ready to pack up after my leave from the 1st job. There were beautiful visions described and I got into the job with a hope that it was gonna be diff. from the 1st. I guess young people are indeed easy to cheat on no matter how much they have seen during their short lives. The 2nd job also turned out to be a joke, with a boss who cannot deliver whatever he presents most of the time. A lot of rainchecks never came to reality....and then I found out from others that the same story has been going on for 10 years....oh well....I guess you have to pay the price to see the truth sometimes...

Right when I was ready to pack up once again after all those stupid appeals on my visa, I got my 3rd job offered....which is to be what I am right now....a wife...I am not quite sure how this is going. So far there is no real job description in it, and I am not sure not having a goal is exactly good for my life. I guess I am just "going with the flow" at this point, but really not enjoying whenever unexpected + unpleasant surprises come along. I guess I am a person who would rather be able to plan out and take care of myself so I would have spared energy to help others a little. I don't like to be put into situations where I feel I am obliged to help, cuz it just feels stupid...I guess people in this world are just mostly not responsible enough to watch over their own lives that well.....and then that is when people around get to suffer.....anyway....

Back to my little cousin going to Canada....I wonder what is in store for her since she is the same age as I was when I came to the states. I only hope if she is scared and feeling bad right now, things will get better and better at the end. I think if I have a choice I would always prefer to go through the crappy stuff 1st so at the end I can relax and breath. I left her a little note, and hopefully that will be a little bit encouraging even though I don't know her that well.....