April Fool? You bet....

April fool just passed few days ago, and yet I feel the whole week is kinda like April fool. 1st of all I had a student (who told me she wanted to major in music for the longest time...aiming only for USC....right...) telling me she finally found out about audition requirements (like after I asked her to find it out for almost half year now) and decided to just minor in music. After that she says even though she is not trying for music major, she still wants to learn cuz she loves music too much to quit. I was thinking.....right....if you love music that much you would actually listen to me and put your time into practicing instead of working part time like crazy (when she doesn't need the money at all). Through all the lessons I taught her....she probably only showed up prepared no more than 5 times. (On top of that she is late almost half of her lessons). She then told me she only wants 2 lessons a month now (after all her BS about loving music...right..), and I told her to find herself another teacher who does not mind if the students don't ever get improved. Some people are just not worth wasting life on....

So this is the sad thing about being a musician. You struggle to make money and yet what you do does not really feel like any kinda fulfillment (when it comes to teaching kids who don't mean what they say and don't really care enough to put efforts in). Through the years I fired most of those who don't mean to get better with either their playing or attitude, and yet a sense of frustration follows when you think about financial burdens. I wonder how much people can appreciate art/music/or anything entertainment related when they don't even know how stable their lives can be.

2nd thing that belongs to the April fool's pool is a gig which was supposed to happen for the coming week. I was getting excited about the gig so I started calling around to reschedule my students, and then I was told this morning that the recording isn't gonna happen until at least May. I guess there is no guarantee it's gonna happen in May either, and I already have my schedule all screwed up. I also called the violin repairman to ask if my instrument is fixed and then he told me he really didn't do any work last week. Instead of picking up today, now I have to wait till next week....if that is really happening.....So is a musician's life meant to be unstable anyway? Is that why most musicians have to marry a doctor just to stabilize everything?

3rd thing is about two phone calls last night. 1st was a phone call which I got from a person who wanted to learn piano and saw my ad on craigslist. (Yes....as pathetic as it sounds like...asking friends to refer students obviously does not mean much....so I decided to just put an ad on the internet and see what happens.) The person called...and in the middle of the conversation said he needed to get another call so he would call back later....and guess what? he never did... Oh well...not like I am expecting a lot from an ad on the internet, but sure it was not too encouraging.

2nd phone call was from Billy's mom canceling the bible study session for Thurs night. Billy was supposed to talk to his parents again with their messed up financial situation or whatever they need to talk about, and now I wonder when that is gonna be. I was planning to have the night to myself and perhaps eat with a friend or something, but now it's canceled so I guess life never goes as planned.....

Through all those cancellations with the past days....I don't know what I should expect now. I guess to never keep any hopes up should probably help on easing the disappointments in life whenever things don't happen? and yet how exciting and fun would life be when there is nothing to look forward to? That is the part of my life that I cannot figure out what to do with as for now....