Endings

Last night I was finishing up the book that I read for the past 1-2 weeks. I knew I could of just finish it cuz Billy was already sleeping for a while and I only had few pages left around 1:30 in the morning. I don't really understand the reason, but I purposely didn't finish the book and waited till this afternoon to wrap it up while I was taking my hot bath.

The ending was kinda disappointing cuz I guessed it out half way through the book. I have always had that problem whenever I read a book or watch a movie....rarely can any ending surprise me really. What bothers me more is how I would never turn to the end and find out if the ending is what I think it is. (even when I can tell I am gonna be disappointed again half way through the book...) Instead I would read very carefully, hoping the ending would be diff. than what I expect, and then shake my head at the end. Somehow I just think I should respect the writer by finishing the work since he spent so much energy writing it.

Excellent endings are very hard to achieve for composers, writers, or anyone who needs an ending for their creative works. At times for one thing to end without anything definite is really the best treatment. (but that often annoys me greatly....) I am the kinda person who hates things without closure, and yet I am not sure if I really want to know the ending. (contradictory, I know...) Maybe I am more afraid of knowing the endings too soon than the ending itself.

Jacob always tells me that for people like us, (people who can tell what the results of things are before they occur..... I have no idea why he used the word "us"....hahaha) life gets miserable at times. We tend to see to much (or foresee in this sense), pay too much attention to the environment and details, think too much, and worry too much....all in vain really....

What is ironic is that at the end we care less about things and don't believe in miracles any more cuz most of the time things go as we predicted. (at least I tend to care less cuz I don't think there is much possibilities of things turning around completely...don't know if that is the case for Jacob....He just struggles all the time and hope things to go his way.... I, on the other hand, just give up....what is the point struggling anyway?)

Ok....don't know why I went on and talked about all those deep thoughts. What I am trying to point out is.....I finished a book....and the ending left me feeling a little depressed....:p