Monday, March 3, 2008

My weird thoughts once again....

Recently I have been thinking about personalities....and realized how hard it is for someone to change/modify their personalities if they cannot figure out what the problems are. I have friends who are so into their own little world they would wish for everything they want but never work on it. I have friends who are so afraid of admitting what they really want they have to appear nice and polite to everyone on the outside. I know people who don't really want much at all in life thus everyday becomes a boring day. As for me, I consistently struggle between wanting and giving up with my contradictions in diff. aspects of personality my days go up and down from day to day.

I have always admired those who want something so they go out and get it....it does not matter if we are talking about career, reputation, relationships, etc. Those people may be annoying as hell, but I guess I still admire them for their courage. I guess doers are just a little more pleasant than talker at times. I think I am still training myself to make decisions in life and then just go for it instead of just thinking about them. I wonder why people consider me as an aggressive person growing up? maybe it's because when I have finally come to a decision at the end I just couldn't care less about the outcome of my actions? I wonder if anyone actually sees how much time I spent to come to a final decision? I guess being secretive most of the time does not really help for people to see the whole process?

I was telling Jay this morning how Louie came to deliver his wedding invitation over the weekend. Louie went : "I may need you guys to help out at the wedding", and I went "sure but I am not playing violin at the wedding." I guess he was shocked at my direct and super quick reply, but then I guess it was kinda hard for him to tell how much time I actually spent thinking about how to carry out that line. I was joking with Jay and told him "dude....I guess I couldn't find a better way of saying it cuz I can't tell him 'look...if you are marrying someone else I would love to play for you'..." Sometimes no explanation is probably the best way to do things? I thought about telling Louie this "I don't really play for friends unless we are super close"....but then...I know that is not gonna be true and I don't want to cut my own "back road". I guess it's never easy when one has strong preference over things? cuz no matter how neutral one with things, other people can always read you wrong....

So....personalities....I guess it's fun to analyze everyone and all....but what it comes to at the end is....You take your picks with whoever you hang out with cuz at the end you really can't do much about others' personalities. They are really developed over a long period of time, and we are no God to alter much at all....

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