Guests of the TW talk show were talking about "love at 1st sight" today. I guess that is something which is hard for me to understand. I tend to get my eyes caught on someone after meeting few times and then I would continue my "observation phase" for a while. I just don't think anyone can be trusted and understood during a short period of time, certainly not the 1st time.
The comments on "love at 1st sight" from the show was interesting though. One of the guest (朱衛茵, who was married to 李宗盛 before and is a sister of a big shot pastor 朱植深 in TW) stated we often reflect ourselves on to other people we meet. The reason why we are not able to trust and fall in love at 1st sight is because we do not trust ourselves. People who do not trust themselves to pour out all they have and love someone fully usually hesitate to accept love from others. The situation may come from previous hurt and experiences so one learns to watch out and be careful when it comes to any kinda relationships.
I just thought that was interesting and inspiring. Indeed it is very hard for me to step into anything which I have learned with previous failing results even only through other people's experiences....and yet sometimes I would feel "oh well....fxxk it....I would just do it anyway and see what happens...life is short..." Again that shows my contradictory nature toward dealing with anything in life. I can be super analytical, but at the same time very 任性 when making decisions. (Ho-Ching often told me I was the most 任性 friend she ever had....very amusing...)
This show was so interesting I wish I taped it for my friends to watch. (especially those who cannot ever get over relationship issues....believe me there are plenty of them...) I was broadcasting it on line to Nancy while I was watching it. I think both of us had fun. Miss Chu concluded there are 4 things which better match in a relationship, and I guess she learned it from her previous failing marriage. (...which she did not blame completely on the 3rd person alone. She understood there were problems they did not solve before the 3rd person had a chance to interfere. )
Ok.....here are the 4 things. 1. Religion (I guess most people nowadays don't think this is imp, but it does affect how people think in many aspects.) 2. Race (I totally agree cultural differences make a huge difference.....but it does not seem that imp to people nowadays especially in US.) 3. Values (Don't think I need to go into this much.. It's basically everything...) 4. Honestly (ok....matching honestly is very difficult to achieve....tough lesson right here...what to say and what not to say? it's always the question...)
Why would people want to get together and go through all those troubles? Don't ask me....cuz I always wonder about that myself....I still remember asking my parents at younger age "How can you two stand facing the same person everyday throughout your life time?" It's still a big puzzle for me even till today....
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All of those 4 things are easier said then done. They are all 'foundational' and inter-related things.
Religion is useless if a person cannot be "honest" with himself or with God. Is race really that important? If we're all the super spiritual 'Jews'... honest and faithful followers of God, what can be the problem? Would it be a mistake for a Chinese girl to marry some Jew who's very Christ-like? ;) And regarding 'values', again, I'm sure a person's values depend quite a bit on his religious views and how honest he is about them...
So all those theoretical things make perfect logical sense, but it cannot explain why people fall in love.
"Chemistry" can play a huge role. It's possible for a person to be turned on by another person for no good reasons!!! It is 'chemistry' that messes people's head up to end up doing stupid things.
The love of God is like that too. It for sure seems crazy or perhaps stupid for God to sacrifice His Son for unworthy sinners. But if you're in love, you cannot help yourself.
The "smart thing" for God to do is to simply abandon us disobedient and stiff-necked folks and move on with His life. However, because he is faithful and loves us so much..., He just keeps on trying and trying... until all hope is gone..., then the 2nd coming would probably come. ;)
As for "people" who fall in love with someone who wouldn't love them back in return..., well, at least they know how God feels.
And if there's to be a longterm loving relationship, yes, those 4 criterion are quite important. Unfortunately that is not how people choose to fall in love. Often times they just cannot help themselves.
Anyway, bottomline is that love hurts. If you're afraid of being hurt, then you cannot fall in love. If there's absolutely no hurt in this relationship..., then you can be sure that this is not a 'loving' relationship. ;)
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